Changes...

All day yesterday I felt like I'd pored fire on my old life... then chucked on a match.
Much grief but also expectation of something that would rise from the ash again.

Inka?  'Bitch?  Why ask for me when I made you wait all last night?'   Cause you come too.  'Is that an order?'  If you want it to be, we go to the hub, I'm tired will likely just sleep.

 

I jumped first to Inka but manifested in a human form... I'd watched him for a min then left figuring he'd likely follow anyhoo.  
Once in the hub I just curled in a ball... The others seeing me there in a human form realised I was making a statement of sorts and let me be, Kaylo did sit up beside me and put an arm on my sholder...  'I'm less adverse to touching you like that than your freaky grey form'  😏  Meby why I prefer being Grey 😆 It has it's benefits. 
I'd just lain with my eyes open staring across the dusty wooden floor.  Jinnya was in the room, and I could feel her empathy.  I knew they understood my reluctance to be human again...    I didn't intend for them to feel bad for me, but my emotions weren't so amplified in that form.

The dreams were strange.  
A duck that had been kept in an egg from Whitsun? to full moon. 
 

 

 

Prior to this I'd been Salmon fishing on an island..  I'd made the island for my Dad with a kids bucket and spade.

The duck was strange... Hatching fast and growing quickly into a large white male farm duck. 
I opened it's belly with an axe, a slit low down and from it's abdomen came it's dead siblings.
They were in an unhatched form with no eggs of their own. 
They slithered dead onto the floor where the duck ate them.
I watched the strange symbolic scene unfold unsure what it all ment.

I'd been living in a property like a raised version of my main dream house, my Filipino colleges lived in the house with their children too. 

Also Athena and her daughter, they were marking the Christian festivals.
I was just looking after the duck and helping clean up.

Jack was in the dream too.   He was a Dj, with a live broadcast.. He was telling people of an upcoming ecstasy festival we would all take part in.
I'm not sure where we were at this bit... I was looking at the display of an apartment store window, clothing style... Smart casual that would no longer be worn.... Not suitable for the work that people would do.  (This could be linked to the election results that were being counted last night)
4 fishermen, groups of us meeting in the space with the clothes displayed.
There was a change that Jack was broad casting, groups of us moving on ahead to prepare new sights and places for them to follow.
 

Closing a Loop

 3/7/24

333

Dreams jumbled...A strange staged settings.  Cardboard divisions set like shop windows or market stalls. 
People posing still like mannequins... The people were for sale, frozen in a pose.

Horses moving around the setting.   I don't feel like I had a form... Just observing.

606  Was with James the nurse.  We are in Erics old driveway a staircase leads below ground to an lower village, rooms filled with books.  I was following funnyface around.  

 

Main dream space...  A huge red metal ship in the harbour.  It belonged to Ken & his bro George... Too big for the harbour, it was just spinning in a ring causing the water to raise up and over the pier and breakwater walls.

A large hill... Stuff moving up and down.  Layers and levels, I was moving between them.

 

Then the front garden of my main dream house... It still had a lawn, we were laying in the daisies. 
Some guys with me had ordered Chinese take away food... There was 3 of us and each tray contained 3 items, one for each of us.  I wasn't hungry but they had insisted I ate an item from each tray.
Kind of meat things in batters or sauces, very oily.   Spare ribs, belly pork, crispy beef. 
 

They also took me inside to under the stairs were they were showing me Youtube vids of old 80's songs.
They wanted me to contract for something.   

 

4/7/24

 

'Be strong mouse, you are where you are supposed to be, even if you can't feel that RN'  I don't feel much appart sadness and hopelessness Inka.

'I know. Get threw your meeting Bitch, I'll be waiting'  Come with me Inka? 'To your ward round Bitch?'  Mmmm

'You sure?'  I need your strength RN  'Ok Mouse, promise you'll keep your cool?'
Promise.  'Better?'  Mmmm   bit trembly but feel better, TY/

 

'Ren?' Leon?  'Come bk to re-ed hub with Inka please' Ok...  Why?  'Because we all want to see you both'
Ok, I want to see you guys too, I'm sorry you had to feel that stuff 'Don't be Ren, we know how to remove you when your emotions are overwhelming'  Inka doesn't mind...  'Nor Malico, Ren.  I understand, though I have little need to share in your feelings'  I'm lost Leon  'We will help you set intention Ren, you only need your love to navigate.'

Woke at 303, 505 & 707.

I'd met Inka, but I'd wanted to see his room in Re-ed. 
I'd never been there... I recalled the first night he met me as I'd gone astral and he was waiting.
It was same layout as mine but further in.. No window.
Once there, he joined with an astral form of his sleeping on the narrow bunk. 
The room's so small, I was standing between the door and the shower.
Recalls flooding back.
He was disinclined to go to the hub... I duno, I just stood slumped against the wall feeling shit, drifting in and out of stuff.
I was annoyed, but he refused to move... Telling me I'd wanted to go there.

Dreams were odd, military... An island.   Odd rock explosion, I could see blocks moving from the side of a volcano the lava within. 
A rescue.   Explosions too, and radio waves and frequencies.  
Aliens and interference of the waves. 
Bright gems on the floor from the cooling rock flow. 
 
The warning...
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2020/10/temperance.html

 

First trip, 2021..  Inka penned on the door 2 doors down as I arrived. 
Reading the book on the 4th July in the mental hospital... about the 4th July party that finishes them all off.
Along with the anthropology book on the Ashaninka.  (Ash v Inka  2nd lock up)  We did ceremony. 

Living in a reality different from most, yet nested withing.   

We Came Back to Walk You Home

 

 

The mental health act..   a performance and show,
roles of controller and controlled.
The irrepressible growth of spirit of those in the gnow
The blinding light of self awareness we are unafraid to show.
Corralled and herded, yet not herd or seen.
Chemical lobotomy to make us fit back in.
Psychological warfare... we stand at the front line.
In our minds,  from our eyes there is no place to hide.
When we see with our hearts into the soul of the system
Beneath the weaving and deceiving
We are nekid for inspection
Non are found wanting,
We are home in ourselves
Yet we mirror a collective insanity,
from which humans wants to race.
We stand all ready at the finish.
We will meet you face to face,
Yet we let them believe their delusions and elevate in our disgrace.
We don't want apologies, pity or care.
We want only respected enough to let us be.

 

-----------------

 

Invisible, Ignored.  Life's failures onboard.

Holding hands to eachother, we weather this storm.

Eyes see to much and hearts that feel it all.

Our passions crushed inside as we attempt to be small.
Simmering anger gives way to frustration
Unexpressed resentment turned into self repression.
We watch, we wait.
the periphery of life.

Screams ignored, Selves harmed.

 

Cages worse than beasts

 

Polite requests go unheeded,

Whist actions miss interpreted.
 

Restricted more, desperation feeding apathy

As medication clouds minds and senses.

 

Trapped, ever smaller,

We retreat far inside

But from ourselves,

There is no escape, no place to hide.

Cruelty is some how more unfair, in a profession that purports to care,
Teams eyes glaze when they meet an angered glare.
Blind to the abuse, of our most basic human rights.

To the suffering they cause as they try to make us right,
 

Flights no option with doors and windows barred.

To fight gains us seclusion ever smaller prison walls.
 

Hidden from a reality that doesn't want to see us,

Can they imagen what it's like to be us?
 

Is it fear of what we represent that lands us here?

 

A labyrinth pathologizing the expression of spirit with all it's twists and turns.

 

When did IN sanity become a crime?

This is no place of healing, this is a punishment of difference.

No care, just an escape room challenge,  where our souls are layed bare.

--

'I'm waiting for you Ren, Malico too, He wants to protect us from the Me in U'  lol ok, how dose he suggest to do that?
'Just being with us Ren, you know how far we will go left alone Bitch' 
Hahha, yeh that's true, RN Inka I'd welcome one of our more fucked up endeavours as a change of scenery.

'Mmmm, I know Mouse, just try and hold on till you get bk out'
 

https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2021/10/unexpected-fight.html

 

0020  loads of dreams already.
Re-Ed.  I'd jumped back there and we all arrived in the hub. 
 
The dream I'd had was of a camp/festival club or rave.... Marcus too.
Then another setting, still at the same place but more on the outskirts of the venue was chatting to someone like Monkey. 
We were discussing mental illness and I was telling him and others of my experiences psychosis, they all wanted to try.

At RE-Ed Inka had jumped me back into one of my stays in an iso-pod.  It was as I couldn't stay chill and everyone else was experiencing my emotions too, it was too much for them.

I was discussing our plan (The one where Ren jumped into an earth reality to try save us all from permanent stasis) and how it had massively gone wrong as now I was locked in here, but with them inside. 

They seemed to think it was OK for now, but wanted to think with out feeling my emotions which is why Inka jumped me out bk to iso and stayed with me alone in one of the tiny rooms.

The dream of the party rave setting had been with him there.   Jack & my bro were there too.

Vapes, and camp fire cooking... Jack and my Bro had been there too...  Sports and pool tables - so much stuff!
'Come here again Bitch, we will help you unpack'
kk.... Was good though, nice to see and meet loads of people again.  'You were asking them for help Ren'  I was?  'Mmm, come bk to Re-Ed'

 

...
Didn't wake again for another 7hrs.   'Lazy'   U could have woke me 'U can Run with me soon'  ok.. Oh.. Other dreams too.
A massive city, race  different teams all a colour crazy boat race / catch the pigeon vibes.

A red sky team, and then another neon yellow one.  
I'd been part of a ground grew in an old beat up turquoise citron car. 
Certain teams were in communications and we'd been working with the red sky crew.
A massive control tower in the city was monitoring, broadcasting and overseeing the competition.

We'd reached the finish line... For the last part I'd just been on a sort of skate board sitting whizzing down a suspension bridge on a hill and into the command/finish hub... With the neon yellow sky team dropping stuff on me from above.
I'd captured 2 squirrels from the neon team... Bro and sister, we let them go but they continued to fight each other on the way back out the door.

 

In another dream I'd been in my main dream space laying under a purple sky on the harbor hill with Win talking.

There was also another dream with a purple sky were I'd been in talks with various factions, it was a ground concrete structure, sort of low geometric rings making an odd conference area we were using the rings as a sort of massive table.
Tt was structured so we were all on the same level with areas for teams/crews and representatives to stand in huddles.

 

I don't really recall what the talks were about, just awareness of being there with Inka and a small tribe in the dark there.
Fires on raised platforms lit the space were we were gathered but it was so big it was hard to make out any groups but those adjacent to us. 

 

Back Underground

506 'Morning Ren'  Heya Mate.....  Sorry dreams hazy It's ok, I was busy.. 'We' lol

There were dreams too, 'There always are' 
I'll get coffee 'Leave it for now'  Why?  'I want to be in your mind' 
 

Oh I do recall the dream, I was deep underground a dark cavern that was inhabited.   Was almost like the walls were made of coal..  Deep black damp and slippery too, I had a space by a frog pond.   Was my area, stuff had been built there too, giant old fire places had been bricked up and large light switches with dimmable industrial lighting were to high to reach.  I didn't mind, the dark was comfortable.

The roof/ceilings were high above.... Cleaning large multi oven cookers, filthy loads of stuff black burnt onto them. 
I was scrapping out charred stuff.

Two old die cast printing presses, they were made of gold and blue enamel - old but pristine bright in the dark dirty space.

The whole place was on top of an underground transport system.   To many 'Stationery's'   System can't function when shuttles holded and held up.


Twenty One Pilots - Paladin Strait (Official Video)

 

 

Same space again... But closer to surface.
 

End of tenancy type of clean - only I'd not stayed in the dwelling... It opend into my main dream space.
I'd not even stayed in the dwelling I was cleaning, stuff was labelled with the names of people I knew.
I was cleaning...   I was sweeping charred stuff from the ovens, shaking old bedding and sweeping the dtuff that was falling from ripped quilts.
 

Cat flaps too, so cats could come and go, my dead cats were around entering and leaving as they wishes.  Mainly returning as the change was to be soon.
I had some help with the cleaning... But they seemed to be making more mess.  

Also 2 funerals in my main dream area.   I'd come to the surface for this, it was the same as when that guy was in a live in vehicle in that small car park. 
He'd been joined by more for one of the funerals.
They were to be celebrations... The 2 funerals would merge to a large party in the space after the ceremonies.  
I was going between the 2 groups first getting to know people.

 

 

https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2024/03/bare-sole-living-rough.html