Fear and Violence

So tired at night... Still crashing for 12 hrs!  I'm waking and dreaming but to sleepy to make notes.
 

Inka and me playing.
'For everything we must forget there is a supper massive black hole?!'   We were huge clouds of awareness playing beside a black hole.   We kept shoving eachother in till we started to stretch and then dragging ourselves back out again.

It was fun and funny....   Fraying and unravelling.

 

Being in this house in astral it was dark and a massive spiders web stretched across the front room, 2 garden spiders were fighting over the web.
A tarantula on the floor.

I was listening to many 'radio' broadcasts at once again... Or I think they are just the sounds from different realities.   I was tuning and listening to one with earthquakes. 
 

We were all with Leon, Malico lots of the crew too on Leon's island.  We were flopping about relaxing it felt like a holiday.

We all jumped together to a windy cliff top were we have an old turquoise VW camper van.

I had 2 turquoise envelopes that I could use as flipflops, when I swapped the feet over it changed the currents of the air and wind flow.

A version of my Dad that was very, very fat!  I think I'd asked him why he was such a lump! 😆

Oh yeh... I did and he told me it was insulation... 🤔

A strange hub we are in where I was slipping in and out of dreams.

The main dream I recall was of 2 spaceships that had got close.

One had sent a living smoke threw the air system of the other ship.  They were using it as a form of attack, it infected the mind as a fear mind control.
The other ship had more traditional weapons and the combination was going to destroy both ships fast.

I was formless observing, what I was seeing was so odd...   Nets of glowing white light and living black smoke.   Watching bombs and explosions in slow motion... Stuff moving threw metal as if it was nothing.
Zooming in to see what paranoia looks like dancing threw a mind.    The combination of fear and violence could have no useful outcome.

Closer to morning Inka jumped back with me to Ddad's hub, only he vanished.   I didn't see him again till some sarcastic comments landed me in a fight, he scraped me up after.
Reminding me it was wise to check who we were contracting for before shooting my mouth off.... especially given how outnumbered I am in Ddad's hub 😛 
 

Star Patterns

I have death wish...  'I know how you feel Ren'.
Fuck you...   '🙄'  Kill me or help.  
'You didn't say please'   Then just fight with me? 
'You will have to relax or sleep'   Send me in or out? 

'Ren?'   I want in or out Inka I'm climbing out of my skin here.

'Relax then'  Thanks...    'You will owe me for this Ren'  

I'm in...  'Lay down then'  kk

Wow 😮....  'Yes, and we're in the middle of this shit'  mm  'So could you sort your self plx?' 

Inka...  'Just sleep mouse, your instincts as usual are right. Sleep is what you need' 

 

White modern space.  

It was a pool and a prison, reminded me of that arrested at school dream but this time we had been put there by a guardian type entity. 
We had been left in the space to learn philosophy.
2 escalators to a white platform and the pool is on the ground floor.   Large windows look out onto a city that we are not allowed to leave into.
The space was accessed by it's own underground station and the rumble of passing trains was near constant. 

There was only 3 or 4 people in this space with me.   No one had the authority to free us and the thing that put us there had failed to collect us.  

At the end of the dream a large big ben type of glowing clock had fallen down into the city... It was made of fractalized light that imbedded it's self like crystal shards into the street as it fell.
We were stuck watching threw the glass window, the water in the pool had started to evaporate too.

The philosophy was to do with a large gestalt awareness that had impregnated a star then left the system to mature and grow it's self. 
We'd learnt what we needed too and now just felt like we were stuck in a fishtank.

-

 

Next dream a tall white tower with a large steep stairwell.
The view from each story out of the windows is different.

From the top floor I'm looking over a series of corrugated metal barns with a covered station at the end for access.

There is a dark large attic room from the top floor that certain people have open access too.
I'd jumped back down the stairwell floating to the bottom and gone to explore the barns.

 

One of the roofs had been ripped apart and I was looking out of the hole at an amazing spaceship of sliver metal with glowing crystal in deep blue and pink and people flying and fighting in errr flying robot suits.

With Inka at my roundhouse hub.... It is all the same thing I'm trying to get my head round atm.
It's just making me tired and confused.
I'd gone inside and flopped on the bed and Inka made me into flag.   The swastika flag.. I was confused and so he showed me in a dream.
It was a VR combat game but the kit I'd been given was buggy and it wasn't looking where my head was pointing.   
I was being attacked but fighting blind, as I was coming out of the experience I could see the swastika as the plough threw the seasons. 

Moving around the north star. 
It was to do with the same energetic gestalt.   The thing that had dumped us was from there.
 

On one layer it was seen as genetic manipulation but it was mainly energetic.

Then a long dream a strange city, collage.  
My year was due to graduate or leave but again we had been in this space so long it had become home.
Zak was with me and a Hungarian vizsla dog.
The year I was part of were from very different spaces too and on leaving would be unlikely to ever meet again, so I was sad too.   We'd been in this space 5 or so years.
We each had a room that was more like a show or a shopping mal.  Each room was an alcove with a curtain a little like indoor railway arches.

I'd gone to say goodbye to some friends I'd not see again.  3 guys all different sizes the big one was so large that only half of him had been at the collage and he was only there from the waist down!

Seeing the plough again too stars on a flag.  Swastika was 4 and the trident was 3... The ball court thing from last night was 2.  I was trying to learn numbers symbolically or something. 

Rainbow stuff and Thermo-Globe.

-

Hummm that pool was the same one I was in years ago, then I revisited with Leon?  I'm so confused and sleepy still even after 11hrs sleep!   Feel like I need to process this when not awake!
 

Interdimensional Game Referee

A layered city. 
It floats on a disk and above it is a glass parasol thing.  I'm floating outside some distance away looking back at it.  The city is skyscrapers with lots of neon lights and around it is green countryside.

-

An odd small statue inside it is a very shiny copper penny.  It's been set with groups of coloured crystals around it.  A Cat, Rat and Squirrel fighting and a giant human size Rat sorts them out.

-

More layers...  Preserving / Pickle jars.  Enzymes and controlling reaction speeds.   Everything was oddly abstract and layered - I was cooking or preserving reality's?  Catalyst like seasoning.

Inka was with me, what I was doing was beyond my comprehension of words and images.

 

In one layer I'm in a secure unit but the reflections of lights are portals that I'm slipping in and out of.

I was with James the vet nurse but hiding from him too.   I'd jumped to the top of a building where a posh family were. 
I'd sneaked in to hide there and was asking them not to give me away.   They did and James started yelling at me that I wasn't supposed to be there, to come with him and get changed. 

I'd told him no and started jumping on a bed making a mess. 

 

Inka appeared annoyed.  Told us this was no place for our crap, to tidy up and then go to him. 
When we jump to him he's standing in a concrete ball court with a metal fence and hoops.  
He chucks us a basket ball and tells us 'These games go here now'.

 

Another long story with Geralt the Witcher, was like watching a play in an old theatre audience but I was in-between here too moving in the stage lights to behind the show.
 

A friend of mine had given birth to twin sons.  I was helping her wrap them in a cloth sling to carry as we needed to keep moving on.

Last dream I'd gone threw another portal into a strange weave of corridors following a dentist up and down old fashioned steep stairs.  On the stairs are balanced old dental and operating chairs they were hard to climb, as he was in front he's stop occasionally and offer me a hand.

It was all so jumbled I was aware of Inka with me all night as a sort of interdimensional game referee

'Helping to sort the crap in your head'   

Each layer was defined by the number of players?  'Close enough for now'  With you though it doesn't matter?  'We are all part of eachother Ren' 
 

This blocked ear thing... 'Is effecting your GPS and navigation. It's why you are dizzy and confused Ren'   Ah ok. 

Coordinated Head Pop

Inka did you have anything to do with me being a clone?  '.......'   I'm going to take the crazy sensations I'm feeling as a yes then.

'As you wish'  hummm  show me plx?   'Sheesh Ren. Your already head popped and ill'

Your trying to avoid the subject?  'Time n place for everything Ren' 

Keeps swapping sides.. right Adrenal to left?   Now higher up.

 

Hummmm 🤔 I didn't want to meet the person who cloned me at the time.

Who was the guy grooming people?

 

Show me more please?  'In sleep?'  Either way. 
'Kk Ren'  thanks, you don't sound that pleased?

'I'd prefer my timing'  I like time now? 

Wow...   'Ren'  Mmmmm?   'I told you I'd stay today.  Careful what you wish for Bitch?'

Hummm...   meet me half way?   'OK, then take it easy n navigate'

 

OK. thanks. 

 

-

22.22   - I'd been jumping all over, into spaces were I was connecting missing stuff from outside time.   Enough to make me dizzy.  'Go with it Ren'  Makes less sense awake it's like I was dipping into time like you might do with a pond.

12.12 Same thing but less chaotic.   I'd found all the other me's I needed and met the others who belonged with her.

Em was there too and I was in her house with her family.   
Some of this stuff was really crazy, air locks and gaming tables.  All sorts of people and uniforms.

Here too everything was alive I was using it to connect threw to find the bits I was after.
Must have been making so much DMT as even awake the whole room looked alive and moving.... Was like I was tripping hard.

1.11 Now..   A dream world, I was still with Em and her family/ crew in an odd world. 
I'd been tracked down, I was one of the last few to join.   Most had gone on to make crew or energy gestalts of their own but I just wanted people to recall where they were from.
As we got closer to eachother we were highly psychic - all doing the same energy work and heading to the same target.
It was energetically juicy - so nice not to have to talk and show eachother and share again.

Lots of friends too we were planning a headfuck orgy?  Ah yeh.. Was Red/Blue energy we'd all make it purple at the exact same moment. Blowing our minds together. 
Took a lot of planning though as we were on so many probable timelines.
That animal thing again too from the dream the other night of the families. 
I was connected this time to raven or crow. 

 

The guy mainly in change was measuring.. He'd wanted to know why I'd waited I wasn't sure until he was near me but the more I connected to his energy we realised I'd been waiting for him.
 

2.22 🙄  my writing hard to read here... Was programmed people??  'They're just playing duality Ren' lol  'Come here'  I've missed our hub I'd jumped to the ship hub with Inka and loci at the start of the night.  I just have to think of loci and it makes my crown centre go nuts 😆
I'd turned into a dragon again there and Inka had used me as fluffy beanbag again.. The above dreams were fast confusing and fun.

Eh?? It's 323  Didn't I already wake at 333 or was that what I was dreaming?  Anyhow it's the same strange dream.  Was like my main dream space but it was all Em's fam... Many old friends too.
We had 2 rooms a bathroom dressing room filled with mirrors and then a room where all the walls had different size windows.

I wasn't sure were my crew was.. I just seemed to be with Em's guys.   I was doing stuff for them.

414 I'd been merging 2 very similar time lines using emotion to overlay them into eachother.

Last dream was very confusing.  Irean's house with my cousins & Bro.  I'd been in the front room in a bath made from an oak barrel.. I had a bong too.    There was so much back story to this, my dad had left me there and I'd got bored and used Java & Minecraft to make worlds to amuse myself while I was waiting.   It had all got kind of out of control though.  Police too though I think they knew us. 

 

I think I regret asking you the clone question 'You think?'  😆     My heads scrambled again Inka...  'I know Ren' 


 

Head Mush and Homer

Ooof Inka... It feels like last week just had sex with the moment and my head!  'That makes now'  So many images... 'That bits your thinking'  👀

Space dogs and fireworks, just to much stuff - I'd attacked a dog.   I'm fighting with you now?  'No Ren, I'm showing you what to remember' 

Fidel Castro?  I duno what that is or what it has to do with anything?  

'Just come here and dream' 
I was in a place were people were in animals?  Friends?  Hu?  'Shhhh' 
 

Eh now that was odd.

I was living in the Simpsons! A cartoon world and Homer was going to kill himself.  He left everyone an identical note on their desktop with lots of links and as we watched it we found ourselves journeying and becoming more real.
The real world was brown and run by a dragon.
They made a new person into Homer.
Every day we all had to line up and one person would be made into gloop and the dragon would inject it!
We all had to watch, it made me want to puke. 

Rest of the time we could make toys and play.   Was way more to the world too so much stuff and I'm very confused!

Back in the same dream and now it's linked with Odyssey (I've dreamed of this before)  It was linking back to Greek stuff.
Inka my head too full  'Yeh, just sleep don't try n process it all'   There was numbers too, were they the numbers of the planets?   I'm dizzy.

 

I keep going back into this same space... So much stuff.  
There is a daily meeting in the middle of the world. 

We come from the north and the south to chat and take a strange train ride.  Sushi is served on the train but someone had already eaten mine.
Oh there was a steep climb to the train too, I'd had to use my arms as I had slippy souls/soles. 

I was being shown a new avatar I could use.  Was like an MMO thing.  Was almost like a blue part seal thing?  Perhaps like a turquoise Selkie but it had a trident too.  A strange mythical looking thing was cool.
I was looking at it's skills and they all had the same Icon the language was dots and squiggles and I didn't know how to read it.
I'd have to learn it threw experience.

Last bit I was in my main dream space with my Dad.... We were looking at buildings going up and down (like scrolling fast back n forth threw history)  He was telling me stories were written in cement.

The tide was high a few meters more than it should be.  A guy with us had a strange white shuttle he used to fish.
I was aware this was the place to try out the new strange avatar.

Feels like reality took a symbolic poop in my head.

'Sorry Ren, Mars and Venus back in Aquarius'   My brain just feels like noodles.. 😵🥴

'I'll stick around and help mouse'  lol thanks I think.  I'm confused.  

 

Dragon Chasing

I'm Sorry about my Bro Inka.  'You know us Ren'  Yeh... Still.  'Then you know Sorry means shit.  We play this Ren and are very good friends'  Sheesh.. 'Just sleep Bitch'

 

Inka?  'Mm?'  Could you get Rick out of my head please.  'This is why you don't watch TV or do religion' 

So it seems...   It's fun but I want my own archetypes again.

'You are not easy you know'  Tired though... It's hard seeing everything threw an archetypal lens.

'Which is why?'  Yeh it's funny, and I'm lazy n sick!  

'Come here stupid'  TY  'Save that Ren, you might not like how I remind you of us' 

I'm not that fussy though 'Sadly not'  Why Sadly?  ' Just come here'  Ok any here?  'Me obviously Ren' lol  Ok.

I'd gone to Inka who was at Ddad's hub.  There were lots of Ddad's crew around looking at Inka and me like we were made of crap 😆
He just brew smoke at me and told me to nap! 

A strange dream a room filled with cupboards.  In some were rodents of different kinds. 
Others were filled with strange old style toys I'd never seen.
They looked expensive.  I was being asked to sort and catalogue them.

Some were broken like a toy plastic plane, other stuff was way older.   Metal Diecast farm animals,  old fashioned metal cars. 
Some of them were collectable and I was making notes of model numbers.
A guy with me was valuing them.

-

I duno what I'm seeing Inka?  Were cutting stuff?  'Attachments and ties' 

Why?  'Healed or not needed'    One was something with Sandra and Chris  'Symbolic Ren'
I realise we've also been doing this for the past few days.   Time is odd there.

'Yeh come back'  
A dragon appearing and vanishing.... It's what we do too.   We appear and then scatter to hide, this dragon was doing the same, it was all earth tone colours.  I don't recall now who it was but I was tracking it and following.
 

Next bit were back in that room with the odd VR thing.  
I'd been a small sleepy gargoyle thing again and Inka just put me on the floor to go back to sleep.

The next dream was long a school in a vast stately home or castle.  The inside was 30's 40's style, looking like it had just been decorated. 
It was very self contained, with different coloured dorm areas it's own hospital, leisure areas, bars,  cafeterias and kitchens. 
Was amazing to look around.

I'd been given a room in a yellow dorm with other students long ago.  I'd not used it for years though.

I'd been living in a bunk in the staff area as a runner for the school section.
I helped in a class with a very playful rabbit. 
The whole complex was vast and the layout confusing, not unfamiliar though and I recalled other long dreams of similar space.
The grounds were amazing with some fantastic old trees and statues.
I'd been sent to collect an item that I'd left in the yellow dorm room.  It had been empty so long it was going to be reallocated. 

I also had family there, I had a chat with them moving threw. 
Once I'd reached the yellow dorm I'd realised why I'd not stayed there.  It looked amazing but the vibe was really toxic.  
Lots of competitive bickering females.  I had to engage with them as I couldn't recall where my room was.
Part of me was sad I'd not got to enjoy the yellow room.   (Was pretty ordinary really just a dark wood bunk with a yellow bedspread single unit and a window)  

The communal areas and canteen were nice or would have been without the attitude of the other people there.  Was happy with my choice of bunking in the grey grotty staff area 😀

Last dream was jumbled, We'd gone to see Kaylo & Leon who were errr defusing us.. Or balancing was like a static thing.

It's set in London.
Ronald Macdonald swimming pool?  It had a hospital vibe.  I'd gone there with Ian's Dad and an x partner.  I'd dropped while polystyrene balls all over the floor.
A large picture to be framed, the frame was ornate heavy and gilded it was to be hung in an important gallery. 

I was also with Inka in the church in my main dream area where he killed me.  We've been back a few times since when he took me to meet me as a new born baby and another time before we went south into the sea.
It was different inside this time the walls were made of flint and cobble stones and there was a really low door between the church and the back area we had to crawl threw.   I had some coloured pencils that were wrapped like corndogs.

Ah yeh, there was a children's entertainer contact there.  I'd gone to speak to him and he was a real shit, Inka had told me it was something we were going to watch and deal with? 
 

 

4th & 5th March

4th Mar.
Odd nights sleep cause of covid high temp and tickly throat.

At first was like being in vast glowing nerve synapses..   electric jumping between.  Familiar too, stuff I've been in before.   Sometimes like the dreams I have when I go in not out.

Also that really annoying sensation of astral yoyo where I keep falling asleep and then my throat wakes me back up.... It's like being really far then really close... Was making me feel dizzy so Inka jumped here in astral to keep me company instead.   
Then I had an odd dream of something shoving me everyone assumed it was an energy ghost and I was trying to explain I knew it but it was really freaking other out. 
Lastly I was dreaming of pools of coloured liquid metals.  That was certainly more relaxing than feeling like I was on a bit of elastic!

5th Mar
Had a high temp all night so recall is all-over.

Main dream house.  I was clearing all the rooms but leaving a small loft space that was filled with old bits of mine.  I've been in this strange room before but not for years.

I was clearing it to move to London.  Zak was with me.   Journey would be by a while bus that was already waiting.

Flying in a valley...

Pringles tubes in Red, Green & Blue.  Inka was telling me remotely this was like the RGB coat they made for me.   When I'd asked him what he was doing the other night and he'd told me about cosmic fairy.  I was seeing that plastic Saturn with logos stuck on but it was now like it had RGB glow too 😛
I'd been given a sliver pocket watch with a stop watch bit too.  
I didn't see much of anyone they told me to just sleep the fever off.

I did see our ship hub, it's got more detail now.   It's less square and more ship shape!

I'd arrived at London with Zak too the buildings were massive.  Way bigger than they should be, we needed some temp accommodation but we were going to head into a kids pirate game first.