Monday, 2 November 2020

Sanity is Overrated

Do other people get excited about going to sleep? 'They would if they recalled what they were doing'   'I held back the storm for you to dance Witch'  I actually believe you 😆 'lol thanks' 




What was that massive bug thing? 'Would you be surprised if I told you it was you?' Hahaha yes!! but then I guess in unity we are all.. How me? 'Wait n see' Hahah really?... 'Come to daddy parasite'  Idiot 



Heheh it's stupid shit like that that makes me unable to meditate! 'Your in that state anyway'.

I'd gone into the pain at crown as Inka suggested and it instantly unblocked... was that DL crystal liquid shower tingly thing I'd thought - Holy Shit!! as it was so instant and you replyed flatly 'Literally' making me burst out laughing... 'Laughing Buda'  Anyhoo TY for telling me to go into the pain 😉


The storm was keeping me awake so I'd decided I wanted to go out astral in it... or be it. Couldn't jump alone so Inka came to help, was warned it would be chaotic and wow it was wild 😛and rest of the night chaotic.  As I came back I had a vision of a herd of all black cows.. Oh are the cow dreams linked to the dairy dreams??  'OFC.. come bk'  


One of the long rambling stressy dreams...not had one of these in years!!

 

Anyhoo the dream jumps and I'd had Zak with me and we are walking on a long journey to meet a group we know.
Zak was really slow, playing and hanging behind.. it was night but not dark or anything like night the town was busy with people moving about, pets and people outside there homes. We were moving threw back streets and gardens. It went on for ages.. him being slow and me knowing we had a meeting place with people.. more of us. 

 I last saw him in an alleyway I'd been looking over my shoulder and kept thinking I could see him following me I passed threw a massive religious parade thing looked Catholic and then down a big hill out of the town and when I look back again I see it's not Zak following me I'm carrying over my shoulder a crash scooter type helmet that I'd mistaken for his head. (This is the crown thing?)  'No shit' 
 

When I realise he's missing I head back calling but can't see him anywhere I don't even know when I lost him. I'd eventually got back to where I'd last seen him but he's not there either and I go into a building to ask if I can make a call. The woman says yes, but then just faffs around not helping until I eventually get annoyed at shout at her saying 'Could you please just let me make a call - I've lost my son I don't know where I am and I need help?' Instead of getting a phone another woman appears and starts shouting at the first. It's like an old WI meeting and non of the women can agree or find me a phone... I watch as the woman just start bickering thinking ffs...


I was also aware of wired astral stuff in the room as the dream was going on... shapes like large rubber people on and around the bed.   'lol'  That's what they looked like to me 😛


I'd recalled how my dreams get tangled when I sleep upstairs.... was harder to jump well too.  

I had got to Leon with Kaylo though as we were young again kids.

The dream had started in a wired room.. the houses were to close together with loft rooms and balconies and the kids were climbing in and out of the windows into other bedrooms we were trying to sleep, Zak had gone into one room then 2 other boys climbed into ours. (Oh wow, they were a little like that dream where there was a stream of people in the sky!)  'lol yup... you can see typing this how it all flows now'  O.o wow! OMG I'd not realised till now.. same thing back-forth 'Mirrors'  Mind pop!!


Next I wake at 333 I'd been in so many layers.... I knew this was an old agreement too but it was very hard to get threw to my waking awareness. More of the rubber people and also a pc lower astral room... Trump in one layer I had spoken to him but duno what about... 


Oh.. Then a wired astral convo with a woman who was a friend she is a civil servant - I realised I was rendering her as a representation of control/authority at the time it was symbolic. She informs me she has gone to the authorities about me, she doesn't think I know what I'd doing and wants me to be monitored!... I grin and tell her 'Fair cop'.  She smiles at me as says 'I wondered if you would understand' I shrug and know the game will get trickier faster. 


Next up I was on a PC/ network hunting/compressing and looking for links, inside systems.. trying to find the bits to compleat the puzzle.
 

After that was a combat style dream/game a bit like a dungeon crawler my team are 3 females and there is no balance.

I know the layout and tactics but the lack of balance is making it not work. The women are bickering won't listen to me or tactics and I'm standing in a dark room listening to them with a massive turtle/tortoise biting down on my arm while I wait for them to agree on something 😆 


Then a cafe I'm a waitress I have a white apron and a pocked with a cloth in, I was clearing tables and filling dishwashers... I knew Inka was around cause I could hear him laughing and appearing occasionally :😛 '😈'


Oh yeh, he took me to the hunter's room again... and told me 'What if I told you I'd tricked you?' I just grinned and shrugged and told him 'It is what it is, I know the games you play... I still love you' We hug before I jumped back alone to dreams...  


This was about this convo yesterday 😏



'How alone Bitch?'  lol Inka, who knows.... Oh your jumping me into the dreams? All the falling jolts..  'No shit Ren.. go get Kaylo or Malico to help you idiot 💜.. and yes you're in many many layers that's why recall is hard'   Ok I'll go to Kaylo... 'Good Bitch'  lol FU!



I'd jumped to Kaylo who was with Leon me and him were young again like we were the other night... Kaylo was moody as he is on the station at me but agreed to dream share so we slept there and Inka jumped us. 


Next dream was this house but mirrored or flipped or just all wired... was like it was in the washing machine dream where I was transmuting stuff a real but variation on it. Kids were there and I had wrapped gifts - they wanted to take the paper off but I was telling them not yet, not time. 


I was caring for plants and cleaning this kitchen.. plants and moss are starting to grow on the walls inside, I was taking cuttings and watering as I was cleaning I'd picked something of the bench and put it in my mouth then realised it was a tick! spat it out and put it outside !! Ewwwww lol   


After that, the room had swapped to a female-only learning space/dorm it was a bit more like a college refectory I was cleaning again sorting rubbish and recycling and the others had asked me what I was doing. I told them cleaning... then they showed me all these little wired labelled draws where they kept there individual rubbish and recycling... I was confused as the whole thing was way over complicated and I couldn't understand why they were so hung up on their own rubbish I was explaining in the last place with just had 2 big tubs re-use/trash. I was unpopular again considered primitive and beast-like.... but I'd got threw the year just winging it with old skills. ..... srsly 😛 Haha TY Inka 😏  'You fits where you sits'  Suppose I do, don't much like ticks in my mouth though... 

Oh, I had a monkey Mama dream years ago about biting bugs in half to kill them.. '😈' lol  


Next was another dream of gardening long lines of plants taking cuttings and moving them to new containers. 


Then symbols. Branches, branch lines, capillaries, blood, mycelium tangled threw time, information light and rhyme. Dark of earth dance me home, into hiding a bit in all. 

___

'That last bit was your fears Ren, you need to be careful your in game'  Intention?  'OFC I am whatever you need'  I know mate...  'Your naivety isn't a weakness it's trust 💚'  I know how much that hurts...  'Yep, you've learnt that lesson.. project what you want'. TY


So the first dream was inside my main dream area... the washing machine had been full of cat food... I'd cleaned that out then the walls were covered with insects and parasites compleatly white ticks that blended to the walls. I wasn't quite sure how to move them so I tuned the old wallpaper into fabric then folded them all inside and took it outside to shake. lol Inak??  'Symbol fun!' 


Then the fear dream he'd mentioned.. which was also in part the mirror dream to the first part of the night. Male-female polarity chasing each other.  


I was with Zak, Marie and Dad. (Marie middle?.. oh other dream.. ok will find after)
 

The dream had started in my Grans main dream area so male line stuff.
In the Sea and where the old school used to stand were ancient stone statues and monuments, ruins from all ages... It was a show/display people in and out of the water looking at them.   

I was filling bird feeders with seed around my Grans old house which was filled with infants like a giant playgroup, a table of women were discussing banking.

Then the walk.

It's a walk threw a long dark city, a game of tricks and trust we were following my Dad but he was in a rush - the buildings were amazing and I was wandering along behind slowly looking up at the architecture and stuff taking it all in.... it was incredible looking like a rundown gothic city in the rain dark, damp, shiny, tragic and beautiful. My legs kept collapsing and I kept falling getting left further and further behind at one point I was looking threw some old rusty victorian railings up at what looked like a disused asylum on a hill I'd stopped to admire the archetecture.  
While looking I was wondering if it was crazy to trust and what if the lesson I had chosen was naivety.  Hurt that follows betrayal and rejection, I had been there many times and I knew the pain well. I realised I was getting left behind again could see the others and collected Zak who was behind with me.  


It hurts to have your heart broken... 'It hurts way more to shut it and live in fear'  lol yep...  'So trust you have learnt that!'  Hahah. My dreams are different when I sleep close to others..  'Yep you dream share, you pick up on their stuff and drag it in.... you also asked to be scattered into a storm 😈' 

Is that why I can give people nightmares too? 'lol yep!' That was Ian's lack of trust?  'Yes, you instinctively know to move downstairs when your big'   Ooooo 2016 too?  'OFC, I'll show you how to sort the space a bit to dream there again'  


Was harder to jump too.  'Yep, you're more entangled as your sharing'  

Oh Fay told me she was dreaming that she was all the characters in her dream.... That's why I kept waking jolting? 
 'Yes, I was helping to jump you'  The shapes in astral.  'Mmm'  OOoo!!
Oh, lol, the mixed bins, the bugs?  
'Yep, your boundaries are different you'll deal with anyone's shit!' Hahaha so I stay sleeping there?  'Yep we'll clear it for your dreams again.. you'll know when you have to move'    Ok.


Oh the getting left behind, that's the long way home! 'What's the rush Bitch!'  lol 


--
One dream with Marie Nove last year... me screwing up!   Sheesh... Just read the other one too  Me getting the blame for something else 😑  'Haha we do love you Ren 😆' 

99


Inka, I just looked up the Monkey Mama dream... same page as the synthesized  Virus one...  'Sucks being a timewalker sometimes Ren hu?'   Errrrrrrr 'Remeber what I asked you in the kitchen?'   Your serious?  'Deadly 😆'  ffs! 💩  The gifts were in the one were I got something pinned on me too?? 

'It's cool, symbols and intention... we are playing... you can't tell me it's not fun?'    Intentions about all I've got atm cause my minds blown again.....    'Just play nice and dream a good dream 😴 adgent'   I'm not the only one with no idea when to quit!! 

-- Oh the dream With Leon where I'd messed up, the transmitting beacon is there too. But in the other dream I'm the beacon too  -  Being everything is bloody confusing!  😵


https://www.metrolyrics.com/take-the-long-way-home-lyrics-faithless.html

Worth it though 💜

Sunday, 1 November 2020

Learning

Leons Island with both him and Inka we had long exchanges... lol I'd joined with Inka a few times in dream wolds but he kept kicking me out when I spoke and tells me 'Shut up, parasites don't talk I do the possessing' 😁 Can I go into Leon? 'You can and will, your not ready yet'    


The not talking was the male/female thing the female flows feels.... I know we saw some amazing and incredible stuff but what is hazy.. Oh the symbols ripping threw the different layers the space ships is mind the trees body/earth.
Inka explained lots more to me while I was half asleep this morning. I wanted experience.. Oh is that when I walk or leave so many astral lessons.... 
'Or get kicked out and yes, different way of learning you want to learn threw play & action'  


Through their bond, Inka instinctively increases the intensity forcing her being inside the pain until she surrenders entirely into sensation. Objective achieved he jumps them both, her inside him flowing through his system like liquid fire. 

Form of ecstatic trance?? This is Mk ultra too? 'Yes' Ritual abuse, MK ultra initiations cause fragmentation and dissociation? 
'Yes though the process its self is entirely natural'
  I've experienced all?  'OFC, Ren there is nothing you haven't experienced in the earth arena either directly or threw your connection to the collective'  

Makes sense.... 'You'll forget again' That's the different layers???

'Yes' Depends where I'm at with my awareness. 'Yes' 💜

We do it from astral to go further less karma and fall out, some still learn the lessons they want here.


How many are here? 'One Ren always One' pfffffff The one in the many, the many in the one? 'Yup!!' 


Why do we use pain?  'Familiarity, fast and effective and we can reform instantly.. tantra, meditation, work too we just use violence'  lol  'Your pretty simple Ren as entities go'  Hahaha 💜

'You don't need the pain now, you enjoy it... you hunger for sensation and experience your impatient and love intensity'  ok The overseers??  'Yes, violence is acceptable to us though we don't permanently harm each other anymore in a heavily physical arena... we are masters at physical matter manipulation'    I don't feel very masterful... 'lol <3 Ren your just a bit of us'  


The violence is why we don't incarnate together?  'Yup, we would kill each other'  lol I believe you... 'You don't need to you remember'  lol some of them yeh. Oh my Dad and his Bro!! 'Yes hate each other'  lol That day watching them when I was tripping...  'Yes, incompatible energy like you felt yesterday, if one was female the sensation would be magnetic and intense but still destructive.'  


Oh the poems that we wrote years ago... Did I understand this then.. 'no channelled/inspired.. you knew as a kid till we hid me in the floor '


Oh the collective knowing... 


 All the knowledge that we’ll ever need’s already trapped inside,

 Trapped deep inside subconsciousness it’s for safety that it hides.

 

 Balance both your opposites your black and your white,

 Search for equilibrium, they were never made to fight.

 One grows too strong outweighs the other, battles fought inside out minds get projected to one another.

 

 By natures laws we live each day, though so often hidden in real life play.

 Release your creature let it be, drop your defences and set it free.

 

 The creative destructive power lies so deep within our soul

 Money greed and power will never make us whole,

 Acceptance of the thing you are and how you play your part, 

set free the guilt anxiety and open up your heart.

 

 What goes around shall come around, it’s the way that it must go, each and every person has there special gift to show.

__

You guys are my knowledge and I am fire and emotion... My friends that killed themselves and increasing..suicides, self-harm, abuse.. 


'Yes, we all know this inside threw the collective... the world is upside down teaching children to fit into broken systems... it breaks the kids instead'


I should not have drunk that wine late last night...  'Gun shot'  lol Can't take it bk.  


The 'We came to watch fall the systems we were instrumental in putting in place??? 'Yep, towers Ren' 💜 Most people prefer not to be broken😏 ' lol a part of a process 😆 

Oh... the Oh... that's the ice spire above too 👀 lol the upside down and in service!  'Symbols!'


The re-ed station?  'Meby for once you knew what you need' lol!! Can you help me please?  Trying too Ren'   So many probable futures too!! 'Yeh project one of the less fucked up ones witch'  Hahaha 


The lockdowns hitting arts, music, drama, creatives... 'Yep Ren, pressure cooker Orwells boot is going to land hard... Some of you are still dancing' 


Why do they go along with it?   'Hahah Ren, you know better than most the shit that comes with non conforming!'  Heheh I guess... Re'Ed stations....  'You push to extremes of experience'   The idiot that can't keep her hand out of the fire 😏  Why do some people forget more than others?  'We pick our own lessons and tools'  Hummmmm? 

Oh, the parameters thing... but we can change the rules in game 'If your stupid enough to want to from that perspective'   Hahah I'm stupid enough to do most things.. We don't though, that's what we do in sleep, we zoom out...    'Most do, you do both'   😆

 


My memorys are so fragmented - 'It's cause your trying to fit them into you there'   The body stasis farms.. they are symbolic for womb, rebirth, forgetting, dreaming your ingame?    'Yes'  

Ahhh, when we expriance directly we know... also you can teach people any old shit, unless they expriance it they don't know it's true they just have to belive you or not!!   '💜'    Cool

The forgetting helps us to experiance in game as we are not hampered by the recall of the thousands of times we fucked up badly!! ' 'Yes, untill your capable of loving and forgiving yourself'  Ohhhh!! 👀  Then we can remeber more!  'Yep you're able to forgive your self so you get to remember and yet still stupid enough to keep fucking up'  😆   ... IMPulsive, anyway I'm playing.  

 

Shrinking

  26th I'd been robbing somewhere with an unsavoury guy.    To escape we shrunk ourselves and hid in box's pretending to be dolls...