Splat

That was fucking horrible... 'That was the point, now get up and sort that'  

I don't want to disturb shadow.

'Your shadow is seriously disturbed Ren and right now fucking angry with you so do it now'  

Get up and sort littler try while recalling the experiences.. I'd kept arguing and fighting with Inka up until the point where he shared the thousands of memories and emotions of me and various other me screwing things up and people really hurt/upset with me and their emotions too..😬  Some I knew about or part of and many I didn't. 
Once I was in bits we went to Leon & the others who also shared recalls/emotions.... Inka had to take the responsibility too as that's how it works.  

'I know how fucking sorry you are Ren it's not like I didn't try and warn you or make this less hard'  

I know... 'You can't take it back' The gunshot dream? 'Yes, you just have to forgive yourself again. It's not like you haven't had enough practice' pffff I really should have listened to the door. 'You never do until its fucked Ren, you knew you had to break.'

Yep..

'Just stay there and do exactly what I tell you for a while.... I can't believe you still want to argue' IKR, I can't help it 👀 'We are the same Ren it's what keeps us getting up, just listen for now'

Blugh.... this is horrible 

'I even told you I'd not be fighting this time'  Didn't stop me though hu?  'I didn't really expect it to you have no fucking clue when to quit'  

What's up with me?  'Duality, it's why we team remember?'   not really atm, I'm sick of this shit......  'Shut up Ren, just stew for a bit'


Last time we barely made it...  'You could have just taken my word for it'   Yeh, I'm not that smart.   'Your mouth is. Now shut up till I tell you otherwise'   

__

Drop into the void space to dance alone black colours in a black ink sea swirling like feathers trailing, dark colours like oil in a dirty puddle, soundless music to spread the shapes, black feathers on blackbirds falling, trailing wet and inky, oily and thick. Sliding and gliding, slipping and falling, screaming and calling dancing as one.

'You're never going to stay put are you?'   I can't unconditional love extends to self too. Can I have more recall from last night, please? 'I'd not do that if I were you'

IKR, but love wants to feel everything...  'Pfff, your nuts'  TY - you coming?   'Void?'   Yeh   'Suppose' 💜 I'm sorry IOU again... 'No shit bitch, you keep biting the hand that feeds you'  IKR I'll try remember to go bird next time.  

__ Dreams were hazy... just in the void, emotions washing like colours with no hue sounds with no notes. Then main dream area, I was in the room with the ear-rings the other day (lol ringing ears) on the curtains is a massive fly! It's the size of my hand I'm creeped and fascinated in equal measure and I move the curtains and it flys and lands on my spine at the back of my neck and I wake with a jolt 'lol Ren, it's just me' Hahah Oh, that was the fly from the toilet rescue? Haha wtf are you doing?  'Playing'  

I duno where I am,  'Friday' is that a place?  'May as well be'  What happened?  'Tower'  We jumped you too. I feel wired.   

Adrift in a sea of emotion, lost far away from myself.
A tide of time carries what's mine mixing it up with all else.
Washing away at the edges sinking and flowing apart.
Watching a heavy thing sinking, I dive deep to follow my heart. 

It's really Friday? 'MMm get up'