Splat

That was fucking horrible... 'That was the point, now get up and sort that'  

I don't want to disturb shadow.

'Your shadow is seriously disturbed Ren and right now fucking angry with you so do it now'  

Get up and sort littler try while recalling the experiences.. I'd kept arguing and fighting with Inka up until the point where he shared the thousands of memories and emotions of me and various other me screwing things up and people really hurt/upset with me and their emotions too..😬  Some I knew about or part of and many I didn't. 
Once I was in bits we went to Leon & the others who also shared recalls/emotions.... Inka had to take the responsibility too as that's how it works.  

'I know how fucking sorry you are Ren it's not like I didn't try and warn you or make this less hard'  

I know... 'You can't take it back' The gunshot dream? 'Yes, you just have to forgive yourself again. It's not like you haven't had enough practice' pffff I really should have listened to the door. 'You never do until its fucked Ren, you knew you had to break.'

Yep..

'Just stay there and do exactly what I tell you for a while.... I can't believe you still want to argue' IKR, I can't help it 👀 'We are the same Ren it's what keeps us getting up, just listen for now'

Blugh.... this is horrible 

'I even told you I'd not be fighting this time'  Didn't stop me though hu?  'I didn't really expect it to you have no fucking clue when to quit'  

What's up with me?  'Duality, it's why we team remember?'   not really atm, I'm sick of this shit......  'Shut up Ren, just stew for a bit'


Last time we barely made it...  'You could have just taken my word for it'   Yeh, I'm not that smart.   'Your mouth is. Now shut up till I tell you otherwise'   

__

Drop into the void space to dance alone black colours in a black ink sea swirling like feathers trailing, dark colours like oil in a dirty puddle, soundless music to spread the shapes, black feathers on blackbirds falling, trailing wet and inky, oily and thick. Sliding and gliding, slipping and falling, screaming and calling dancing as one.

'You're never going to stay put are you?'   I can't unconditional love extends to self too. Can I have more recall from last night, please? 'I'd not do that if I were you'

IKR, but love wants to feel everything...  'Pfff, your nuts'  TY - you coming?   'Void?'   Yeh   'Suppose' 💜 I'm sorry IOU again... 'No shit bitch, you keep biting the hand that feeds you'  IKR I'll try remember to go bird next time.  

__ Dreams were hazy... just in the void, emotions washing like colours with no hue sounds with no notes. Then main dream area, I was in the room with the ear-rings the other day (lol ringing ears) on the curtains is a massive fly! It's the size of my hand I'm creeped and fascinated in equal measure and I move the curtains and it flys and lands on my spine at the back of my neck and I wake with a jolt 'lol Ren, it's just me' Hahah Oh, that was the fly from the toilet rescue? Haha wtf are you doing?  'Playing'  

I duno where I am,  'Friday' is that a place?  'May as well be'  What happened?  'Tower'  We jumped you too. I feel wired.   

Adrift in a sea of emotion, lost far away from myself.
A tide of time carries what's mine mixing it up with all else.
Washing away at the edges sinking and flowing apart.
Watching a heavy thing sinking, I dive deep to follow my heart. 

It's really Friday? 'MMm get up'  

Careful What You Ask For ;)

As suggested I'd jumped to Leons Island then don't really remember anything till I woke again it was still early I'd been with Inak and the others.

We were in a strange 3d floating arena - Organising a performance/show. I was on the centre square platform with a few others looking up I could see others in kind of rectangular floating box's placed around it, a floating inverted pyramid.
I've had other dreams like these roles are constantly swapped/changed. We had been arranging rules/parameters and roles/outfits and gifts, songs too... all telepathic and symbolic.  

On waking, I'd asked a question I read now as to tatty.. Leon told me... 'Just come back Ren, you are here with us anyway.. bring all here and we will help ground it'  Inka interjected 'That's right parasite come to Daddy'  lol Inka, you are such an arsehole! 

--  

WOW... We were huge, I'd had so much recall while there. You attacked me again Inak? 'Boundaries Bitch'   Oh the physical sensation helps to make my form more cohesive there! Then I can jump again or recall better. I couldn't see?.... 'You could it was just orange'   Oh lol  'We go purple next'  ok.

___

Woke at 333, I knew I'd felt massive again and had experienced a lot.
Asked recall please and was an instant recall.    

Is that true??   'Hahaha you experienced it!' lol I dunno wtf I experienced we were freaking huge!! 'Hahah'  and arguing... You'd yelled at me what are you doing here? I'd told you I was here for you and you were fucking angry about it!
We blamed each other for something one of us yelled 'Mother sent me here to stabilise us.  You divided the family'   -- We were gods, or what people think of as gods... fallen or gone upside down.. one of us had 😏  'You got the recall you asked for then?'   This is bonkers!! 'Your dreams... your head'  ffs😏!!   

There had been another dream too, I'd been walking with a sister or daughter in an otherworldly garden with white paths and small geometric flower beds a wooden building was there with a cooking section where I and the other female had a role. At that point we serving some food/meal... There was a huge huge grey structure to going up and up into the sky like an elaborate grey concrete chimney it had a diving board :P I could see people up there and once I'd finished with the meal I was going to head up there to jump too.  'Crazy'  Hahaha

'Come back here with me'

I chatted with Kali before I came to find you that night?  'You did yes'  👀  'Come here Ren, keep dreaming and do as I tell you for now'  Pink next?  'Yes when the time is right'  ?? 'Just come bk now, I'll meet you in the room under the house'     

I'd jumped bk to the room.... I don't get it, 'I know, you still play and hunt though Skua'   Oh.. the hunter's room? 👀  'Yours isn't it?'  lol.... So I'm the hunter?? 'Or Mirror 😈'  ffs💜 The cat and mouse game?  

'We are the same thing Ren.. same shit different polarity -Even the greatest  predators can't escape parasites'   Hahah seriously 💚 I'd told him I didn't care what we were I just wanted to be one again and whole.. There were DL's energy and we joined into one entity again before the next dreams

(My purple centre is going so wired typing this)  'Yeh, you'll have visual shit soon'  Oh good... 😏 

So last 2 dreams.. I'm on a beach long wide sandy the water is crystal clear the tide flowing I see some people I know going to camp at the water's edge I pick up there flip flops that are already floating away and I pop and tell the tide is flowing they will get wet.. I chatted to them briefly and told them I'd helped the tide come on one day and they tut at me and sigh. I'd felt sad, Inak said to me 'Go easy on them bitch, their human' 

I'm in a room with Shadow the kitten Inka told me to name after him. ( wouldn't then Ian suggested shadow 😛) The room had two strange and special lamps one Pinka and One blue I'd been sent replacement bulbs they were sliver shaped like spiral pinecones... The bulbs were not quite ready to replace yet.  

I look at Shadow and he has bat wings too, very cute he keeps standing up on his back legs and flapping them. I'd been watching Shadow play and call to Ian/Dad who were a mix of the same people to come and see his wings. 

They come in and I pick him up to show them and as I do he morphs into a strange soft toy dragon.. next it puts back it's head looking agonised, the eyes are real.
Dad/Ian are scared of it and want me to get rid of it but I rub it's tummy the eyes close and then open as doll eyes.
The guys are still afraid and I keep talking to the toy and rub it and then a fire serpent glows on its face crawling up the side of it's nose like a glowing tattoo and almost into its right eye, it stops below glowing like liquid fire. The now Stuffed toy Shadow dragon starts to cry real tears and I keep holding it hug it and talk more to it and the eyes turn real again and it keeps crying until it swaps back into a living cat/bat. Dad/Ian look terrified but I tell them 'It's ok, it's just his shadow' lol... in the room I'd also been listening to the gods and how we like to giggle 😆 

Wake at 717  'Feel better?'  Still bonkers...... After that, I'd gone to see Leon again we both did. That was just energetic, tingly healing... The tears dream was linked to this where we had lived thousands of years crashing a timeline... how all the dreams fit together.   😲

___

I still feel sick.  'Tiny violin?'   lol fuck off.  How much longer are we on tower for? Guess.  'Full moon?'

 

I ovulated twice in a row...  'birthed twice too'   Errr

 

Oh the male n female baby   'Mmmm'

 

'Running will help drinking wont but its unlikely to stop you' 😏

 

'Run n nap b4 drink.'   I duno wtf is going on.... 'Good tower  '

 

Hahaha what is with the tickling side thing? 'Adrenals'

 

Doing?  'exchange'  ??   What did I talk to Kali about? 'Ask her' lol  

 

This is fun for you hu?   'Obviously' 🙄

 

___Go for  a Run____

You can't break something not solid Ren, let Inka help stop bickering till we get past Tower.   Ohh hey Leon.. lol ok.

__

'Your fine Ren'  Cellular memory?  'Yes, it fucking hurts!'  I'd forgotten root was next 'You know what that was?'  Yep, I do...

Where is Inka?  'Back soon, you could have done that asleep'  Yeh if I set the kids on fire ;)    Want Illeth?   'Yes please'   I'd just started to feel human after the Run 😛    'I know, just hold it bit longer it's better transmuted with the moon'  
'You will be more inclined to listen to Inka and work together if you miss him'  

Its this dream
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2020/04/stuck-energy.html

Oh shit,  and the one where I'd birthed the guys baby but only I knew the Identity!!   The bats from last night...

'It's ok, we are unsticking the energy...   It's what we do as feminine 💗' This is what I volunteered for years ago...  'Of course Ren, DNA lines'  That we fucked with then ..   'Yes' 

wooh... I had no idea that was a roundhouse too.   👀

https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2016/11/what-are-beliefs.html
 
This is one of the main timeline bleedthrews 'For us yes' 

__

Inka?...  'I'm not far bitch'  Really?  'It's ok Ren you already took the responsibility, all time NOW.  We've copped the shit for this were on clean up'    ffs!! 'We got you... Once your well broken that is ;)'  Pffffff


____
That was left ear while reading this... Corvid Animal nature. And track playing 'Animal Nature'     'Woof....You'd not sacrifice your sniffer for anything would you bitch? 

https://www.vogue.com/article/lost-sense-of-smell-covid?utm_source=pocket-newtab-global-en-GB

Next track playing now.... 'You got to realise it, let it go'   -  Is this what I think??  'You were there Ren'  O.o    My actually bro can't smell any more, it's always scared me more than being blind.

Mate....   'Hang on Ren ;)'

What's the dream where I had the parasites under my skin??  'lol, go there if you want'  OK....The same S from the shadows face last night! 
And the same burning dragon from my seperation dream....  Web too?  Blugh We done yet??  

Could you pack that in with my ear now plx!!  Why is this so disjoined when awake?? 

Ahh  Kali said this!!

WOW.....   'And you still don't fucking trust me'   O.o   lol   Sorry...   'You will be'  lol  lets be fair...  It's not entirely my fault we scrap like cat's in a sack!!  'IKR'   😆