Revisiting Pain

Between the thoughts

Under the breath

Outside of mind

There is something else

A weave

A Web

A being

It's there

What is it?

Why do I care?

 

A group of people.... A red apple, I'm to hold it at my heart and a guy I hardly know will fire a cross bow into it.
I wasn't sure why I'd been nominated.  It seemed to be cause I was up for anything.
We were standing outside a church with Christmas like lights on.

 

A food fight.. Chocolates mainly.  It was like a maze, part library part jungle.  Team game with 2 teams, laser tag like with food thrown.
My team was crap most wouldn't take part or fight so they enemy side got to recognise and know me fast.

303  A uni, learning campus.  Was silly like a spy school.  Me and another had been picked to be half dead tied in sheets and then hunted.

It was like a display of sorts for spectators.  We were put into sheets and tied with brown rope then dumped apart in swampy ground to be hunted down.

The planning stages was a room filled with old tech, monitors, plastic school chairs and desk lamps.   I was adjusting the lighting, playing with shadow and direction.

Getting sectioned again, being in a police car with 2 female officers.  We had stopped off at a place for me to collect stuff.  It was a beach with the tide far out and pools of water a rowing boat is in a pool.

I'm collecting things to take with me. 
There is a room with wooden desks in a square, a Pakistani family is seated around.

It's like a call centre and they are taking calls from all over the world.  They are multi lingual and between them they can speak most languages. 
There is one female like a matriarch and she gives me 3 squares of embroidered/woven fabric.
A guy gives me a handful of plastic notes, their is 2 £10 notes and the rest is a currency unfamiliar to me.  My belongings are 2 teddy bears if I recall right one is the brown bare I had when I was younger.
I'd put all of the stuff into a black fabric holdall with brown stitching and I'd put it ready to leave.

While I'm looking round the sand the bag vanishes, no one knows where it is... As I look around for it I'm being groped and fingered by someone behind me.  It was unwanted sexual attention I couldn't escape from and it was making me want to crawl out of my skin.

 

Woke feeling icky.. Reminded me of stuff I'd told them in hospital that was just ignored and realised how I'd been abused at times...  and not herd.   I lay awake for an hr feeling the emotions of being vulnerable and trapped.

 

Go back to sleep still feeling this and into another dream.

Main dream area, Ian has taken our kids to a new years party up the north of the village and I'm attending a small gathering in the road at King street.... 
Same place my bro made my head into a fire alarm.

There are rows of benches with tables and in the house were I was born is a desk were a small buffet will be prepared.  To drink there is bottle green elderflower water.  Though no one has been given this.  We are all sitting at empty tables with a 'program' in front of us.

There is only around 8 people invited.  There will be talks before the buffet, it was more of a lecture than a party but I was happy to be their.  I didn't bother looking at the program, I had my dream pad with me and was making my own notes about what I was experiencing.
Behind us the links and the farn were both cafes serving cake.... Both quiet, one was having a child's birthday party in a back room.
As I look up Marlena is sitting at an square outside table with hoggys Mam.  They both wave at me.
Dream changes so I'm with a small group of people we all have bright orange hair and a physical disability effecting our mobility.
We are in a massive crowd of people using escalators and tunnels like you'd find for underground trains.  Most of the others have a walking aid, but I have something more like a rolling meter stick... It has a mind of it's own and I'm being pulled along behind it on it's wheel.

When I wake again I'm in pain...  Like I've just been raped.   Was uncomfortable.... Follow the sensation into another dream.  
I'm standing trying to pin a flower corsage to me, Ian turns me round I thought he was going to help, but instead he tightens a tie that I seem to be waring.   I woke confused but the pain had gone.