Shhhhhhh & Zzzzzzzzzz

'Come Ren, you don't need to ask' I duno? 'You don't need to have perspective there, just trust, curiosity and a sense of fun'  lol ok.

WOW! 'There are no mistakes Ren, only lessons' I have no clue how to weave that into my story?   'Who has the perspective?'  Errrr you guys. 'Then Shhhhh & Zzzzzzzz'  haha

Dream, I'd gone to find Kaylo he was at the hub, I apologised and he jumped us to the stasis bay to dream share next to Leons Stasis pod, We slept there and learnt about the mind split, and why and how we had hurt each other.. feeling each other's perspectives. How he'd wanted to protect us, and how Ren had felt safe and found protection constraining instead wanting exploration and fun. Why he wanted to protect Ren from herself and Inak & the fall out of extreme impulsiveness - and then understanding why this couldn't work.

They learn why/what how the mind was split.... Next we jump to Leon, he will dream share with Kaylo atm, not me yet. Inka was there he dream shared with both him in middle me and Kaylo each side.  

It was a dream with an unfamiliar male, puppets on strings a chimney sweep black and white clown/jester like too. A child too... Watching the puppet show, we were looking for other puppets. Then I was with my mother I think... It's a church setting, stone old and there is an altar with a cloth and 2 old wooden chests, painted and decorated. I'd been a dreamer/prophet or used by a prophet to dream... some had thought me nuts and others used me.. the church had wanted and used my dreams?!?!?

Tunnels too then layers like last nights ethereal dream but there is different animals on each layer... clues to math/to make a prediction right? Hu?? Using the innieer mind too like Loci/Kaylo like code and a +/- recall request.. I was seeing stuff as code too chain commands. Also clearing out a freezer as we were moving on again.

In another dream, I'd been trying to explain stuff to someone. It was about types of planetary evolution, and why the veil experiment was introduced, was meant to function at 40%-70% efficiency.. was like an evolutionary hard more to see how evolution changed when we were less aware of the connection to all. It wasn't meant to be so extreme.  

This was also played out on multiple layers.. a conversation on a beach, one in an ocean an Indian man/child travelling with his mother and a female nursery teacher trying to teach him English but we are telling her it's not necessary they are passing threw only.  

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Got up for a couple of hrs then wow

That was alot of stuff for an hr. 'Hehe Yes'   I'm dizzy, 'on your way upside down to'  Oh? am I? 'Yes' Cold too.. Hot earlier.  'Listen Ren, to Kaylo and Loci'  Ok.. oh, ears so many overlays.. 'Yes' 

Templar, Packman, Pyramids, Inka, Maya, great big eye, green wings, the bird sings, the dawn chorus, where we are more us, cold and hot out and in, sleep to wake like an owl that sings... What is molok? cold, 'It's energy Ren, feel it'  Oh, yeh... you're in me, 'Us Witch'  Haha

I'd had a dream too, Sheila and Erics where there was a soul fragment. I was we and we were packing up to go, so much shit. I knew it was symbolic to and there was too much for us not to forget something.  

A symbolic leaving and clearing. 

Quick 20 min nap.. Powerful, was with Inka, Kaylo, Loci and Leon again we were deconstructing other dreams. Inka was going somewhere and it hurt, magnetic hurt like my heart was being pulled backwards out of me and I was ment to stay but I didn't want to. It was the dreams earlier with Kaylo and the seer and being sold by a mother as a visionary - adrenals again too.... tingling wired so much it wakes me. 


https://getpocket.com/explore/item/cells-talk-in-a-language-that-looks-like-viruses?utm_source=pocket-newtab-global-en-GB

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/end-of-ageing-and-cancer-scientists-unveil-structure-of-the-immortality-enzyme-telomerase

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/aging-is-a-communication-breakdown

This is also  Gate... and the DNA stuff


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I don't understand why that hurt so much.  'Cause part of you was being ripped from you Ren'   😳 'You know nothing that can be done to you hurts as much as that'    They why couldn't I go to?   'So you're the thing to come bk to' 
👀  'Yes, trust us, Loci and you will go when it's time, for now stay with Kaylo & Leon' 

😳 The swapped hearts?  That was the magnetic?  'Yes Ren'  Oh... So I am with him too.   'Yes, you will still be able to hear & feel eachother' 

I never felt that before...  'I know'  Why are we connected threw our adrenal's too?  'Older connection, you will find out' 

Is it why we have no fear?  'Why you have no fear Ren'  Oh...    Like Illeth showed me that feed on fear? The parasites?  'Pattern Re'cog Ren'  Oh Toxoplasmosis... Increases risk taking?  Many parasites change host behaviours?   'Yes bug'  Symbiotic 💜
  
'Yep, Witch'  Inka..... 'Don't Ren, I can feel you too, worry solves shit and your emotions are overpowering, just do what we say for now'   Pfffffff 

'Ren, just let us help, Malico too if you need him' 
Blug....
'You just need to hold it to transmute same as the other centres' 🙄
'Cry and morn as you need to, the moon is soon'  I don't think I can feel this shit till the moon  😮 'DW, we will find other crap to occupy you too'   lol  😏

'Let Kaylo help, he is stronger than you realise'  Guilt?  'Ride it Ren, he knows how to put up with your crap' 🙄

Grrrrrr 'It's ok, you have the capacity, and your hard when and where you need to be' 
 

__

'Still a vessel Ren, you are you too but your our vessel' 

Help me plx Leon?... Yeh I'm sure, ....If it will help Inka and all of us then help please.

I can't believe you look smug...  I can change my mind, 'Sure, Ren'  lol I can make it harder? 'Better answer' 
'You have my support now, and guidance - another hand you may well bite, or peck' 

'You can't get drunk Ren, you are to much us now' 😐 Blugh.....   'Malico to, yes you bring Kaylo and come to us' The house?  'Yes'  I want Inka... 'Right now Ren you will have to accept what is on offer'  

'I have been teaching you for years Ren as well you know'  Not just you...

'It may well be all me Ren.  I know you want to challenge me'   Kaylo would forgive me... 'You want to hurt him again?' OFC not, but I am what I am, and what I am now is confused and hurting.   'Then instead of being feral like you normally are let us help'

Because I want balance and not help I suppose.  'Good then rephrase your request and focus your intention, right now you just want Inak and you don't know or care why' 

Not true, I want him cause it's painful to be separated, and my intention tells me to seek.   'You are well aware of the pain of rejection Ren, you revisited it last cycle'  To close down love hurts more.... 'You do listen and remember then' 

'Why then Ren?'   I want to feel whole 'You did'  No I felt one, and was still alone.... I knew I was everyone and them not me, I wanted to be in nature and not with... He knows me.   'We know you too Ren'   - To recall that connection, to remember how feeling whole is..  At least as shaman we were connected... Here it's mirrors, reflections snatches that break as I grasp or vanish as I look closer. 

'Then you know the pain of a god Ren'   Why?

 

'To know yourself and put us back together' I'm not a god, I'm a mouse and an irritable,  tired and bitey one at that...   I don't want your logic and mind shit Leon, it means fuck all to me. 

'Then you can fight with me Ren, I'd advise you leave Kaylo with Illeth and bring Malico if you want to recall'  Thank you.  'You're as welcome as you are crazy Ren' 

'You're fucking crazy Bitch'  IKR... But pffffff, We are what we are. 

Isn't this lust to long and hurt so much...  'what longs Ren, your body or soul?'  my heart isn't that my body? 

'Then you see where we are Ren'  Not upside down..  this just hurts as I long for us...