Dreaming a world that I don't fit within. Then sleeping to wake in, the whole that I fit. In my sleep I'm awake, in my day I'm away from the place that I love, pushed to weave in the day. And I know I should love the form that I have and I love my surrounds and I really am glad, but I'm sick of pretending this body is me and hiding the bit that they don't like to see. A fire to dream by, a wind to ignite, a dark to get lost in and use inner sight. Water to flow with the stream to a sea, I surrender to flow what I think I should be.
😊 Wake at 121 No recall but I feel whole again.. 'Come here Ren'
Next wake at 313 at first no recall... Inka? 'Come here, if you want recall take an ego' Hahah I split awareness part merging and instant remembering of many dreams'.
One dream was a very vivid version of my main dream area I wanted some chewing gum, it's the end of the day and martin was closing up but the door is still unlocked. It's the newsagents again but different, more wood and the layout is flipped I recognise it from other dreams in this version though, in fact I realise this is another probable version and have lots of recalls here.
I go and get the gum, he's cashed-up so I leave 21p on the till for the next day I chat to him opening the gum. I've picked the fruity one that I don't really like and he's telling me about a friend of his that hates me. I listen, it's something I did and a Christmas jumper and something I'd done? I jump up and sit on the counter listening he shows me an image in a fabric bag of what I'd done and the image is moving so I jump in.
I'm in a strange film that I'm supposed to have choreographed and yet I have no recall of doing so, the things I am viewing are vaguely familiar.
I'm seeing a young version of me my hair is deep red like it was when my Mam died. It was a collage or had a education/fun vibe. I'm with Clair we are on a rugged mountainside..my view is that of a bird and I'm watching that me (Bird of prey as I'm fast and powerful) and I'm high and swoop low over the other me and Clair and I'm the perspective of the scene after I fly low over them I move around and up a valley where there are vegetable beds and cold frames and the rest of our class?? We had been gardening and the view was of the others waving at the bird view camera and playing with the hose pipe.
_
Another dream
I'm in an unfamiliar white kitchen, it's small and there is a matching one threw a wall it's got our next-door neighbours in I need to get outside threw their kitchen and I'm waiting for their daughter to finish her food... she is eating of the red-tiled kitchen floor. I leave the floor is greasy and sticky, outside I wander with another friend Niki around a huge ploughed field, the earth is a warm red clay colour and dry. The distant field borders are dark dense and old woodland and there is a waterfall, tired pool that we are heading for, the scene is stunning and the water bright blue and sparkling.
In another dream, I'm with my neighbour who struggles to walk but she's different and healthy and in her home, with an Aunt and another female we are waiting for her nurse she is walking, I'm talking of concurrent timelines and just moving to a better one, the others are trying now too.
The last one that was just visual physical just energy like iron fillings but more like black birds scattering..like when Inka had jumped inside a cloud of my awareness scattering it using the repelling polarity. Like the pink birds, 'Yes Ren, you want colours find the team' Hahaha ok.... Also the word Lord and or Adoni ?? 'Find tomorrow' Ok.. all referances strange also last card? Pink birds too, and crow and Jim/Jude all symbols hu? 'Yep Witch, ride the wave of your emotions'
I jump to Leon's islands next then a wired thing I'm filling a whippy ice cream machine with the liquid icecream mix. The ice cream is white it felt like the cox's icecream from home where they make there own ... Oh yeh, when I'd got to one of Leons island I'd gone to sleep and dream with Illeth she'd been relaxing on the grass there, Kaylo had been sleeping beside her... I think she might have been laying on a checked rug again but I can't recall well.
The dream with the Cadburys caramel bunny? Ok.. Hahah
I'd had another dream of a dead cat, It was Pixel Ian's old black cat that a fox killed but in the dream, I don't recall the cause of death, I was burying it and then I realised after I'd buried it in black plastic and that was all wrong as the chemicals in the body were now trapped in the bag, I realised I needed to exhume the body and wrap it properly in fabric, I didn't much want to do this but the longer I left it the more unpleasant it would be so I was looking for the fabric.
A dream.., I was talking to my gran only it's just her awareness I'm in an unfamiliar kitchen someone has left out food and I'm putting it away so it stays fresh for their return... I felt it was my gran's house but it's not familiar and then my godmother's awareness joined too and they are both speaking to me they are telling me about 'Seeing' also about soul shards, how shards/fragments can enter me and I can take them to where they belong.
In the other dream I'd been in a field with lots of other people we are all young and the field is wide and green we are in strange fancy dress and it feels like school sports day.
Some penguins, dinos, witches and fairies.
I had big boots, black and white tights and multicoloured rainbow hair and top, gold and silver are woven into the top... it's a top I owned as a kid and fay found and put on the other day, it's made from patches of recycled fabrics. My hair was in 2 bunches rainbow coloured but light not like the dark rainbow colour from this dream. Other friends were in Dino and dragon outfits and we were taking part in different games in small teams.
It felt like school sports day mixed oh like the old May week/Beltain celebrations, fun and competitive in a silly way 😆
'See why we stay in role Ren? We need to hide from each other to make the games fun' lol I guess... 'Get up' Blugh really... it's 515 'You'll be glad you did' pffffff ok.
-- Nap later...
10mins
'I told you, you would need to
write'
I duno what that was 'Another wall' and I - 'Did what you do Ren, if you can
break it or get round it you become it' Wow..
10mins later...
I wanted to come back and 'fight' you said 'no' lol You 'contained you Ren, and squashed
you'
I woke but ... didn't wake wondering where I was... You said, 'Inside me, now stay still' That was...
'Healing' Errr I was thinking vibrationally wibbly 'Same thing, you can fuck off
now😈' lol 😆 💚
The John thing?.... 'Confused Witch?' Very! 'Good' 😏
Hahahaha
Also the Gospel according to Nate on the Quickening is the funniest thing I've read in ages.. TY 😆 'YW crazy witch'
Off script, 'OfC my Witch'
Then I play my lord, though I will never obey.
'I'd expect no less from a hidden queen,
Standing on the boundary,
Weaving reality's unseen.
We are playing lovers?
'As we stand apart'
An attraction unrelenting when we live from the heart.
Then I drag you ever down inside of the earth,
'As you know so well. With death, comes rebirth'
'GG witch' CBA to read the card.. to many kids.. O.o
__
'A space away?' I don't want to play
'Then your game is done?' If I'm not having fun?
'You tell me queen?' You know where I stand, a foot in the water a foot on the land.
'You're sick of the noise you can't help but hear?'
and I'm stuck with your bug of some sense in my ear.
'Yet your world tells you your crazy, when the voice in your head
tells you don't try to teach them,
chill out in your bed'
Intention,
'you're big'
The noise is to loud.
'You should not drink you get sucked into the crowd'
But I don't want to go bk there, I don't want to be that shell of a being
they think that they see.
---Zzzz
The we have a new recipe? Why dose sleep make more sense than waking?
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