Now WTF have I done?

 3rd Aug

Such a strange night after being treated like a kid I get made into a Man.
Early in the night Inka did something to me... Like pushed me out of a form and into everything. 
Was a strange experience. 

He told me he'd play time and I could play space and then I was on the grass and under it like a puddle expanding.

I was getting thinner and wider.

I had a dream of an elderly lady who had drawn an image... 

It was a graphite pencil drawing of a fractured shell, the small sea creature still lived within. 

It was oddly emotional - and a beautiful image, she'd drawn it for me to pass on a message.
She lived in a forest as a small tribe, they had a contact system that was live.

I knew they were showing me armour in and out... My fam his story and vulnerability.

Back at the roundhouse Inka made me into a man...   I didn't like it at all...

He wanted me to learn stuff.   About Adam, and Andrew and why my Mama wanted a boy.
I was just irritated being flipped from baby to Man - he wanted me to fight and I didn't want to as it felt fucked up... I was irritated about being a bloke.....
I'd had a strop.

He punched n knocked me out anyway all be it apologetically - Told me Sorry Ren, we need to level you bk up....

He shared me the DL's of my dreams as a guy where I'd beat him up to get him out.

 

The horse from last night... It was there too.

Then I was made to be Andrew.. Experience the reality if I'd been born a boy.

The son my Mother wanted...

Yet most of my Andrew or Adam mates r gay.
I was shown they were created to love god/ego so it was so surprise they were in love with the mind.
Then the 3x Andy & James..
 
-

4th Augh

Fight me Inka  'Bite Me Ren'  ok... 'Remember what you asked?'  oh... Errr Yeh...
'Ok. Come here'  Inside you? 'As you wish'
I'm...   'Shit Bitch?  I know just come here, I don't mind' 

Sorry....  'No guilt or remorse Ren, I will show you what happens when we die as one'  Loci?

'And Malico will hold our space.  Just come Ren if you wish to dissolve with me'  I do...  'Now then mouse. Change too, shit might get hot'

Cats work me at 131 making a noise.. 

I'd been with Inka mainly talking I was a more normal me again....  He's been asking me stuff I didn't like or want to answer.  Loci and Malico were around too all at my roundhouse hub.

 

 

I'd been.. We were going to die as one thing 'To satisfy your curiosity Ren.'  kinda... I suppose it was after that thing Darth Dad said.. Anyhoo, the dream was of animals??

 

Errrrrrrrrrrr
Oh yeh.. Loci would kill us and Inka had told me the venue. 
It's the strange huge earth catacomb below the roundhouse and hunters room. 

It's filled with members of my family.

I'd jumped with Inka and then Loci had vanished... Inka told me

'If I die inside you then they will look after us'

He ment my family..
Then I realised that we were already standing on our own dead bodies..

Piles of them.

But after I'd realised that I don't recall anything till waking at 414 from the animal dream... Oh it was 313 we were going to die.

 

The dream was set a place far away and reversed or upside down but it also felt closer like Ireland or Cornwall -
It was small yet massive a place of contradictions.

A room in a house that was oddly familiar... Ian had been looking out of a window.

He the sky was filled with massive star and planets that he was mapping,

Yet I could also see what looked like massive computer cooling systems.

 

It was a huge city and there were massive closed up commuter stations - 

I was viewing remotely there lock down and opening systems.. 

Huge strings of lights and gates that ran on tensile wires... 

They level of security and shutdown ability was impressive.

It was the early hrs of the morning and only cats and animals were outside playing

I'd gone outside in the dark to join them.

Derpy was there and Shadow and 2 huge tabby cats that had mains like lions.

We had a cart like a festival trolley and cats were sleeping and riding it while I pulled it.

We had parked up outside a house driveway when a guy in a small silver sports car arrives home fast driving over the trolley. 

I was sure he must have squashed the cats but they seem mainly unharmed..

Somewhat traumatised I'd walked back home...
Where I'd had a chat with 2 dogs..    

A large Doberman cross and a smaller terrier who was sleeping on it's tummy.
I had a feeling of something missing though so had gone back outside.
Dawn was coming and the sky starting to lighten - people and traffic starting moving.

I was stopping traffic so cats could move home, 

but Derpy my B&W cat was sill no where to be found.
I'd gone back to the house with the silver sports car as I'd felt something was hurt there and as I arrive the cats parted to show me what they had been keeping warm.

It's a duck/chicken/cat hybrid thing?  Errrr it's dying..

Cold and moribund membranes were greying and it was already smelling.

The cats parted encouraging me to take it... 

It was cold and damp in my arms and I tried to wrap it wondering where I could take it as I didn't think it could be saved now.

I'd heled it to my body trying to warm it...   Wondering if there was an animal hospital.

-

The dreams though disjointed was so very detailed, the smells detail and textures all hyperreal.

'Bk here Ren, Mudra plx'   Eerrrrr  kk why?  'Finish what we started mouse, we're currently half dead'  lol  Oh,,,,  oops, ok. Hang on.

I lay still energy DL, my legs n right adrenal flow was rapidly increasing..  Flashing images..

Oh the thing I was holding..it had been a massive developing embryo!! 
Oh..

It was the stages it passes threw on the way to mammal.  👀

 

 

'Yes bitch come back here... '   

 

It was us??  😲

It was massive!!  Like a fucking chicken 😆

'Just come here now Ren.  See why you drive us crazy?!'  😁Coming...  I'm just learning,

'You know this shit, you just don't ever remember'

I jumped back to Inka ..

We were low coherence by the roundhouse,
Reminded me of Christmas when he pinned me against the wall.
He told me 'Take my hand. We jump back to Irean next and you apologise'

I'd looked at him for understanding, and he said 

'You tell her sorry for wasting everybody's time'

 
We would jump back to the earth cavern below.
I remebered where I'd done the same to Aunty Betty.

 

But I still didn't understand the apology now..and he asked me incredulously

'You don't recall the start of the night?'

And then I did and felt really stupid...

He'd tried to get me to look into his eyes as I have before...but this time for me to voice what I needed.

But I couldn't do it.
His mirror was to painful.  

 Asking him or even trying to had opened lifetimes worth of rejections...  😬

'Come here mouse'... I'm not going to enjoy this hu? 

'We'll patch you back up, just come here and stay'

The energy flow was intense I was seeing much stuff... 

That giant dying embryo and the massive babies like the one on the Whitehouse lawn.
The babies to big for old box's

We needed to change here for the larger babes to come back... The symbolic giants the older family.  Humans not ready to know that they are the ancients.  --- 
Wow, that was when we chewed the tunnles out!

'Helping Ren, come back to me'

'3,6,9 the street car line, a pea green row boat, that you keep rocking.

The owl and the pussycat and a fucking tricky well'

Inka?? 'My layabout... Bears and threads'

 
Ok... this is deep shit hu?? 



--
You sat on me... 

'Just holding you down - come here still stuff you need to see here and recall'

Pffff next dreams were so disjointed but also highly detailed.  😲

So much crazy!!

'It's why your fun Ren, your wildly unpredictable and you flip stuff good'

In one dreams I'd agreed to have my head amputated!  😂

Everything from the heart up....

It had been replaced with a blue polystyrene generic replica -  I didn't mind it... It was like the reverse of the borg queen 😜

I'd been in a food que before this but everyone just kept shoving in... 

I'd wandered off and told them 'You all eat, someone shout me if anything is left'

We'd all been in a holding bay.. 

People changing each day - a new female had just arrived I chatted to her awhile instead while she orientated.  

She asked me were my head was I'd just shrugged and said I let them take it.  She could have been an alternative me, she was chubby and a bit scared with straight blond hair.

I didn't have a room.

I was staying in some communal toilets there, they were blocked and smelly. 🙄

I was looking in the mirror from a outside of my body perspective.

Looking at my new head only it was kind of dirty and dented 🤣

I realised it had been used before and was being recycled.

I didn't mind.... I was pleased I still had my heart instead.

 

The toilet was being used as a storage space,
Filled with zip storage bags, dark I suppose like body bags but what ever was in them was folded flat.

I'd lost my phone there and I wanted to make a call..... All I could recall about it was it's lilac case colour.

Inka showed me on waking I was playing blue and he was playing Red... 

It would make us purple when put back together.   

He showed me how I'd be feeling for us both for a while n he would help with thinking.

He made me look at him too and admit to him I needed his help here 😏

When I slipped back into the dream I was still the polystyrene head thing only this time it was stamped and logoed. 
One logo was flat but I understood it in 3d.  It was similar to the Templers & Iron cross.

 

Only it was a roof, a shape.
It needed folded up like a roof.   It made a pyramid another was a round one... I could see them made of crystal.
 

Another one made a faceted witches or dunces cap.. Oh St Dun stan.. 

Logo.. Logos?  'Gaming mouse 😈'  

 You'd become 1/2 of me?   

'More or less for the TIME BEING'  A time being?  'Mmmmm'  lol  pffff kk. 
 

WTF... Doing Links so the Apologise to Betty was Just b4 Beltane this year...  But the Catacomb place was on Beltane the year b4... and this is so mixed up.   'Stupid Witch?'  Hahah prolly 💜

https://www.sciencealert.com/pregnancy-in-daddy-seahorses-is-far-more-like-human-pregnancy-than-we-thought

That tricky brain bit again!!

Seahorses...  Seahouses...   What you guy doing to me! 

Oooo the Sock-Burn... soul covering pfff mind 😲  Would really help to remeber this all at once you know 😆 Seadragons too...   talk about a mind fuck 😏