Messy Fun

Inka? 'I know you need my walls Ren'
I wana play too.. 
'Queen?'  Play king?  'You don't know what you're asking Ren' 
I don't need to. 

We don't play chess?  'Ren we merge every game'   Oh yeh.  
I still want to play.  'Once again, I'll get back to you mouse'

You know I'll always go all in.   'Yeh Ren, we are gaming against crew. You play to win and when you do, you haven't a fucking clue what to do' 

Oh yeh....   'Why we are in our mess bitch'  
Hehehe  OK...  You know it would be fun right??  
Were good at making all sides... 'Shhhh Mouse... My Job'  hehehe  ok...

-

Oh yeh you were Orion and you made me the hunting dog... Only I was a swivel eye Chihuahua 'You know how much trouble you are Ren?'  
Mmmm I still wana play 😁

-
Headed to bed..
 

 'Come Ren, bracers n time off lets play'  Really?  'Keep time close and I'll keep you near'  Errr kk.

First dream was odd it was a bus full of conservatives a tour bus, dirty money.  They were being laughed at.. It was hazy but they were being given a taste of their own medicine.

'Come back'  

A funny dream of police, actors are performers plays.  Oh yeh roleplay we were swapping and changing to learn.
A funny horror film too it was in a house party that parents had put on.

 

It was comical I had 2 roles one upstairs and one down.  A few of us did and we would keep meeting on the stairs in the middle.

Inka was showing us this is how our crew was formed.  We kept meeting at the middles or extremes until we all became familiar.  We were in different roles or sides often competing against eachother as order and chaos.

We became the things eachother needed to balance or turn us round and when we started to use eachother we could create massive momentum and energy.
Wow  I've 😆  'Yeh you learnt to recognise me as I was one of the few who could stop or catch you'  lol cause I can reality slide.  'Yeh'  but I realised it was also something he taught me.. or at least we learned together from the other side of time 😏

My recall was vast again.  I recalled where we'd agreed to team. 😁

 

Planets astrology helped us create reality from illusion?  Hummm this is so hard to bring all here.

'Yeh Ren it's hard to linear your comprehension'   Do the other planets serve as loci like when we co create in the void??

'Will show'
 

Hummm I'm seeing newspapers and printing presses the dates and headlines.
Then a tent pitched on a shore line and I was arguing with Inka over the tide line.

 

'I told you seasons less fickle than time, Witch'  Hummmmm...   'Come back'  kk

Next I'm standing outside our house by the telegraph pole and looking into our living room from behind it.  
On one side one side people were behaving one way and on the other another.
 

This is where I have an eye in 2 worlds? 'Yes'   It's when I'm seeing other people glitching then I end up getting sectioned.

I'm trying to navigate to the better reality? 'Sort of.  Here again'  Time and seasons?  'Here'  lol kk

Hummm it's co-creation but conscious. I'm lucid as my flicker rate is high it's what they were calling mania?    Only I'm doing it all deliberately.

Inka was showing me this dream....  With game creators and kids, I'd been asked to speak for them who didn't have voices.

Also talking to people with dementia they are in another reality layer.

Deaths not real for me it's just a shift of main focus...
This was like Enders game and Speaker for the Dead I was told to read.

 

Next up a hyper detailed dream. 
I was part of a surgical team and was cleaning up after an op.   Greasy surgical instruments.
I was removing forceps that had clamped blood vessels that had been feeding a mass that had been excised. I was about and about to put the mass into the clinical waste when Inka appeared behind me saying 'Bite it'  I'd jumped and woke up as he appeared so suddenly. 

Ewwwwwwwwww!! 'You wana play 😈'  You're nuts!! 'Mmmmm   as are you'  lol 

'Scavengers aren't fussy Ren and dogs eat shit'  Blugh...  'You've bitten worse'  lol suppose...

Next was an epic dragon battle! 
It reminded me of the one from years ago, in that one I was healing...  In this one I was defo on attack. 
The other one had been like flying dinos lizard colour but this was very colourful metallic flashing scales...   It was all claws, teeth and colour and really kicking off. 😆

 

Then I was back in a hospital dream again Em was there just Em /Me I was acting as a runner for her.  She wanted a pink IV canular I forget the gauge. 
She also wanted me to get her a light.  
She said 'Use your brain as a candle'  I see the tiny stump of an unlit candle and I'd replied giggling that I didn't think it had much fuel left 🤣



Next I was fighting physically with Zak... Neither of us would back down, it had started with 3 books he'd dropped on me and wouldn't pick back up.

After the dreams Inka and me jumped to darth dad I'd felt sick and vomited blood all over the floor of his hub.   He'd  asked incredulously 'wtf did Inka make you do?'  😆

I think it came from the dino battle but I'm not sure...
There was also a long standing row  over heaven and reincarnation from our current perspective both were equally valid.  It was the dream the other night when me and guy were fighting over a dead cat.

The disagrement had caused a lot of friction and energy rippling out.
Inka had reminded me that me and a priest that had worked together... He wanted to save the church I'd wanted to protect the graveyard... This time we had priests onborded with gamers.  

We'd visited Poseidon and Leon too.  

The room was really noisy last night lots of knocking!  
When we were all together they were reminding me as a team we all know well each others strengths and breaking points..  This was architectural stuff... Like knowing your materials.  I was shown in another dream.


So when I see them glitches I'm standing between 2 versions of me?  'Straddling an intersection Ren'  Hummm odd.   That night with seasons less fickle than time Loci had asked me how many pieces on a chess board?  Prawns and pawns.

'You don't care about the rules Leon taught you to play using intuition'  Humm suppose.  'Run' 

This is the night you wanted me to find?
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2020/11/creative-evolution.html

'Yeh.  Read then Run'

 

--
Humm??   'Run don't think.  You were sending stuff back last night'  Ok.....  Oh that's what I feel from the back of my heart space?  'Run'  Ok Ok

 

How do I know what that mass felt like between my teeth 😫

'You bit it. 😉  You'll do anything for a dare Ren'  Sheesh 🙄

 

'Dogs eat crap'  so do flyes! 'That's why bitch, WE can fight over any old shit'  🤣

 

Large Wave and Bubble Layers

Only one long dream.  I'd been in Poseidon's hub on the boat with Loci and Inka dream sharing with Inka we were just awareness and Poseidon was layering us up in alternative drops of water then bubbles of air all inside eachother like Russian dolls.

The dream was astral like.  I was on a trip pr holiday away on my own.
There was the odd person I recognised and the place I was at was an unfamiliar busy beach resort.  I was pretty lucid chatting to people about dreams and stuff and just enjoying the sun.

I'd explored a cave that was interesting contrast of light and shade and then wanted to go swimming in the sea.
I'd been walking along the beach heading to swim when I noticed these really funny ducklings.

They were adolescent size when they start to get darker feathers in their fluffy down but these chicks had long stork like legs.
They were tame as people had been giving them bread and so they'd come up to me to see if I had anything for them and their legs were making me laugh.

As I was laughing a guy I used to know called Richard called to me.  He was sitting in a deckchair on the sand.
Oh he was also in this dream, I was carrying him round.
Anyhoo he called me over to him and told me 'Don't swim yet'  and pointed to what was a beach café or apartment glass windows in a parade of hotels, and tourist places on the seafront.

I wasn't sure why I looked out to sea and the tide was way out but the sea looked calm.
He'd nodded up to the seafront so I'd wandered up there to see what was up.

I'd gone into the modern café and threw to the glass window there was now lots of people and out to see is a massive tsunami style wave it was freaking epic!
Everyone was pressed to the window to look at it.

As we watched it come in it was collecting all manner of shit with it... Deckchairs and stuff other crap too and I recall thinking.....   Thanks Richard I don't fancy tumbling about in all that.
It wasn't just one huge wave we watched more of them come in.

The only other dream was odd and short I was on grass and there was a large black caterpillar with orange markings.  Inka appeared picked it up and chucked it then I woke up!
It wasn't like the stripy ones from the other day and when I asked him why he'd chucked it I just get told it doesn't matter 🤔 The markings were very unusual and it was a red/orange colour on matt black. 

Humm the other Richard dream had had bubbles around stuff too.
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2021/04/bounce.html

 

Also a trial.  ?? Pffff Duno. 
 

Domino Racing

Slept early and my first dream was a strange martial art game. 
It was like a house of cards.. Domino racing.    On thing triggering a chain of stuff falling over.
 

'You'll find out fairly soon Ren that the monkeys are running the show'  ? 'House of cards' Hummmmm ?  Oh kk I think I know what you mean.
Monkey and organ grinder??  'Yup'  lol It's shit like this mate!! 
'I know Ren, it's why you need to Shhhhhh'  lol ok. 

The kids scaring kids?   'Pretty much'    Sheesh ok.
 

Ooo the layers and ripples I see so much.  Recall is great again 😁

'Yes, so share when I tell you too ok?'  Mmmmmm

'Fuck off to Ddad'  errrrr ok.


Cool dream this was a battle PVP style but it was almost as cell level it looked bonkers and had the feel of kids having a food fight or chucking paper balls.
we were collected into different groups.   It was really good fun a stupid free for all where anything could be used as ammunition.
As the fight is concluding I zoom out but I don't zoom back into me I zoom out to see a guy dancing with a broom as he is sweeping up 😂

Next dream was visually crazy.  I'd been in a group of 4 females and we were hiding in a bathroom.
But the bathroom was filthy one toilet overflowing and shits floating.  I was wading around bare foot in the shitty water trying to sort stuff out.
 

On another layer we had an elderly Dad or Grandad and we were being given care instructions as we were to look after him.
A massive list of personal care we were to help with. 

While we were listening me and what felt like a sister were just looking blankly at eachother as the father in question was a difficult stubborn asshole they likely hood of him letting us help with anything was zero to non!  🤣
We knew the guy well though and would get buy somehow.

At one point I'd crawled over some army guys ... Not sure what I was but there legs were big.  Meby I was a rat or something?? 
Anyhow I'd gone to see a friend.

It felt like Berwick but the bridge over the river was massive and a suspension construction. 
Reminded me of when Inka was telling me about weapons in the sky back in 2020.
I was being asked or in a discussion about a weather event.

It was like spontaneous tornadoes or waterspouts that would pop up 3 or 4 at a time and they were causing issues with the resonance of this bridge.

They would make it vibrate and it was humming and putting stress on the structure.

It was a vast bridge I was seeing, very busy with modern lights on.

I think it was linked to an army that wanted to cross.. But using the right vibration the bridge could be made to shatter or something. 

Next up I was in a class room, the lessons were over and I was supposed to be helping with clean up.

There was tons of recycling but I kept sneaking of to sleep.

I was sleeping in a bathtub with an amazing view of a sun rise or set.   Huge mountains, I must have been high up as I was looking over the top of stuff.

I'd go back now and then to help with the clear up.
I was pilling old news papers up they were all the same one called 'The Star'
I'd put them in a heap to be collected.  It was a modern looking publication the paper was of higher quality than normal newspapers.

Once the clean up was done we were to take a long journey by car / ka. 
It would be full and dark.  I was regretting that I'd slept so much as it would be boring in the car, I'd had some sedatives I was considering taking to pass the time.

There was a hold up with us leaving though.

Some of the people who would be in the car were involved in a stand-off

This was at my main dream house.
A transgender sister had a room there.  I didn't know any of these people and didn't care they were using my house.

The house was empty and a group had gathered outside wanting access to the room the transgender woman was using and people from there group were waiting outside the property to prevent them.

I was sat in the car somewhat impatient as it was a long enough journey anyway.
I'd got out not to get involved just to tell them all to hurry the fuck up and sort there shit out as it was holding everything else up.

Somewhere in all of this too I kept zooming out to a wheat field with a small pool / pond and a square patch of young bamboo  - I was with the 4 females from earlier in the night and we kept getting into the pond.  It was full of small pond life, leaches and water fleas and stuff.
I was asking them about the bamboo and asking if they had a different plant smaller and spiky..... I've a feeling it's in another dream I duno how to find.

I'd also sent a call out to someone to be ready before 13.02 on waking I realised this is another 101 😏

 

 

Inky and Pinky

Inka??? Where is shadow where is my cat..... It's not beyond you to do that 🥺

'Shhhhhh'   Hu?   'We are trying to teach you to shut up'  I don't do that? 

'WE KNOW!'    Then why?

left ear pitch high to low??  'Like being sectioned?'  Obviously no... 

'Then don't fuck with other peoples reality's'  HU???
What is consensus reality??   'A better question' 
So??
Hummm what's that?    MY story, his dream??  Eh??  
which HE?   'Ego'   I'm confused...

'Good' 

Hummmmm   The stuff you showed me last night.  
Funny Face death but she was cold inside they killed her all wrong and she didn't want to die... She came into - she came back...  

'Yes mouse' 
Is in part Derpy and oh....  Derpy has a twin in another place??

'It's easier to just show you this'  kk

'If I tell you to stop?'  I'll shhhhhh?   'Would be the first time'
Humph...

Meby I am a sociopath...  'You'll stop at little to prove a point' 

I get that from you! 'Mmmmm Ren.  Think about that a bit'

Oh...  This is why we get in a mess??
'Could say that Ren.... Now please try and time now' 
Ok.     
It hurts so fucking much 'We know, your emotions are safe with us'

I can't sleep with a snotty nose...

'Its why you talk to us while your tears leak'

Ty...

You know how much I love that cat...

'We know how much you love everything Ren'

Ikr...

'Make bead then bed'

It hurts...  

'Then cry into bread...no snotty nose though please'

 

Sheesh

Why do I cry alone?

'You don't need fixing... You're leaking'

Lol  kk

_

Lost things, missed steps.

Forgotten words, fallen cares.
Grasping hands that miss a mark

Hurt words that close a heart.

Wide eyes that watch,

Deep breaths that hold,
Quiet minds that hear,
Warm feels that know.

Slept downstairs in a pile of cats so couldn't make many notes.


Woke at 222 I'd been dreaming of Cyrus again, I'd been told he would experience the same as me ages ago, I'd tried to talk to him a bit but just sounded crazy then it started happening to him.  

He's been uncontactable for a bit the dream was hazy.  It had a score bored though... Space. 

Dream where Zak had cut his leg up with a razor trying to shave hair off.

In the sea I had with me and old pink bag I owned years back.  I was on a concrete boat slipway and it was steep.  I'm swimming in lots of clothing and it's hard to stay afloat I was putting the bag onto dry land or trying too but it was dragging me down.  Others were standing about laughing.

I went upstairs at 5am cold and was in a long strange dream were we were in what was like a segregated council estate or vast mental institution. 

People were being separated by race, species and ability's.   I was being kept away from other telepaths as they hated that our communications could not be monitored.

'They' were like a staff in the employment of this odd space - I'd sneaked into the accommodation ment for them an odder and larger house in the same style.
It was a retro/modern with odd ashtrays.
It wasn't obvious at first it was staff quarters I was in I was just looking and sending to the others as fast as I could. 

The staff arrived on lunch break and were shooing me back out. 
I recall I felt like a monster on a leash!

'You're telepathic for a reason Ren'  I know  'Then Shhhhhhh'   Blugh you know I want to say NO!
'I'm trying to teach you when to keep your mouth shut' . 'GL trying to teach Ren anything' Hahah  Hey Kaylo. Oh yeh I'd been dreaming with you two for that part!

I'm trying to learn the balance of questioning consensus reality,  respecting it and free will?   

'You're trying to not be a crazy megalomaniac'  Phahahah Pinky and the Brain! 

'Find it bitch'   kk.......................... I can't search is borked 'Well behave'  Humph  🙄

'There'  
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2021/11/more-medicien.html  Thanks. 

 

'Now Read it' kk

Wow...I've just been to the dentist to fix the tooth that broke when I was locked up!!
I was thinking of that night 😮
'So want your own medicine?   Or what someone else thinks you need?'   

My own plx... 'Then stfu when I tell you too!' 
Hahaha perhaps... 🤣    lol  don't you fucking threaten my pets... 'That's why we get in a mess Ren'   Sheesh   OK  I'll try.   
This is like the night you lot helped me smash my final ego tower?   'Twice Ren in a few days on 2 transitions'  Humph   the moon and lunacy card.  

'It's funny to you Ren and us, but to others your a crazy bitch pissing yourself laughing so plx shut up and behave'   kk you made your point again.
I want to play though....   'And you can if you listen and stop when enough is enough.  You know how much stuff hurts when it goes wrong'   Hummmm   OK... Thanks.  IOU again now I suppose 😁
 

Symbiotic Systems

'Need me bitch?' Inka...   'You're looking for a wall out' 
I am yes...

'Look for me in'  kk thanks.... Feed back loop this is what brings me up!
'OFC mouse'   Pfffffff   You know what I said mate.

'Then focus crew Ren'   to what end? 
'A better one that mental health'
Hahaha  kk 
Tickly head!

'Then ground too'  Oh good plan...

-
111
A digging mining dream.  It was modern or otherworldly but the labour was manual.
Lots of fine grey dust and silt... Messy

 

A forest game.  PVP like teams.

222

A kitten, sunny streets blue sky with occasional shadows we were sitting on the street hiding from showers in colourfully painted Victorian shop fronts.
We were all kinds of people drinking selections of European larger and beer in the dream it tasted nice to me.
The kitten was with us torti and white a young female.

333

Banks and sand erosion, soil and sand and tree roots, silt washing away with lots of rain.  Exposed roots.   Grubby too, reminded me of the first dream too in some ways.

404

Fuck me Inka that was grim!   (I'd been with Loci and Kaylo at re-ed for the first part of the night..  Inka had shown up and we'd jumped back to the boat hub for this dream)

It was long.  We'd been on a rocky coastline for ages.  I was with all my family, sea was cold and full of life a party would be starting there too the coast was crowded but fist we had to move house.
Our house was dirty and so full of stuff, we had one night to clear it.
We'd said goodbye for now and were heading back.  That small kitten was still with us.

 

As we were walking back I could see small sea creatures attached to her.  Some were like little worms coming out of the pores in her skin and I'd made a note to remove them before we started packing the house up.

This and the dream before were hyper real and crowded with unfamiliar people.

Walking back a Dr had passed us looked at the kitten and said grimly 'the prognosis is poor'
I'd been a bit grumpy and ignored him thinking he didn't even look at the kitten and the worms are tiny.

Our house was a room with a filthy cooker and loft hatch.. To get to it we were climbing over groups of people from the UK and Greece they had many children with them who had made walls out of strange branded packet food.  
They were seeing what brands were available in both countries.

As we approach the room to clean up a man at a white counter asks to see the kitten.
I pass her to him and he's stroking her and I think oh! He could hold her while I remove the worms!  So I tell him and 2 old women that have arrived that I'll brb and head to get some tweezers and specs.
When I come back the guy is holding the kitten that looks different now and almost like a mummified cat.  He had some bent forceps and laying on the table is a huge strange looking dead worm. 

He tells me it's 'something gargantuan' and that it's ancient.. That the kitten will most likely not make it.

I'm asking him to pass me the kitten back and he wont.. He gets suddenly really possessive we can both see the kitten is dying and I'd wanted to hold and look at it.
He kept shoving me back and then started singing in Latin and waving the cat out of my reach.

'A liturgy Ren'  Hu? wtf that is??
Anyway he wouldn't give me the kitten, 2 women were saying just let her hold it... But he was way bigger and wasn't budging.. Was odd fighting over this creepy looking dead cat thing that had been my kitten I'd just wanted to make sure it was dead or if it wanted resus.
 

'Come back to sleep'  Blugh that was so graphic and grim...
I'd jumped back - they'd asked can we merge with dragon you... A big dragon could carry some massive bugs. 🙄  I'd said... I suppose so. 
I was seeing so much stuff..

'Some parasites designed to be symbiotic can get into the wrong host' kk

I need to find when they told me about symbiotes. 

I was seeing sea life that lives together mutual benefits, but also massive worms in people..     A yuck challenge! 😬
I could feel Loci and Kaylo same space as last night.. See dragons and seahorses and all the stuff we have turned into.

The dreams for years of collecting parasites under my skin. 
 

Then I see a huge carved wood clock. 
Dark wood it hangs on a wall and it's pendulums are like big carved wood acorns.   It's old swiss made?

Dead wood and time??    As a drift liminally the others are talking to me, I'm back in memory's from all ages.

The kitten was death and dying and I didn't mind death but I was upset and not being able to touch and feel the essence leaving.
They were telling me about heaven and reincarnation and I was seeing child me stubbornly telling the church they were wrong 😆
My stubbornness about organised religions.... And god/s - How long it took me to forgive Christianity as my recall works way beyond a lifetime.
I was being shown 'all' and free will believing.
Why we ended up chasing eachother all over everything 😂 religion, healthcare, magic and art...

The worms and simple systems vs more complex I experience both in my exploration at the same time.  Last night I was exploring the reaches of ego and mind.

All life is creation and all creation is alive.

My dream dust was amazing... Like church and alter wood carvings but fractal and folding. 
I'd told Inka I wanted to be small again and he'd told me humans are quiet little. 
I'd suggested bug ball and he reminded me of that massive grub that was me that I saw inside a copper type of box.

Religion arguing, wood carvings.  Stonework and dream-dust. 
Time.

Religions  was/is simultaneously destroyed and created from the no time perspective.

After getting up for 40mins I headed back to bed.  Crew mainly Ddad and Inka were showing and reminding me of more stuff.

Like parasites should be silent and not irritating '😈'  but symbiotes are in a feedback system.
Humans have forgotten how to talk to nature and creation! 
'Not all of them Ren, and some of them never shut the fuck up!'  🤣kk point taken!
I was wondering and wandering again....

'Ren.  Stop looking for walls outside of us or nature'  lol now I see why our crew is irritating!   'It's mainly you!'

Oh clams and pearls the irritation in a shell, I had a dream about that here.
The splinter in Zak's to encapsulation.  I had a dream about that too??

'Learn to fucking meditate?'  Hahahahaha 💜 Nah, you guys make me laugh too much.

After that I had an odd dream of all different size people some were really tall giants and they their were all kinds of stuff in the middle.
Felt very familiar and the different sizes all got on fine.

I also noticed that me and Ian's 7am alarms were totally in sync..  His is normally slightly faster.

Oh the Silent Parasites and the Clam dreams were joined too!   Loops again.

Ok... Made your point about where to look for walls 😁

 

Source Coding

My recall was hazy last night as I wasn't really dreaming with any other ego aspects
Was more in a liminal space talking to reality and seeing things.
Reliving experiences and also checking in on stuff.
Deep blue / magenta
I was with DarthDad at first he'd wanted to go into void space as 2. 
It's the same mesh I see that we made the underlay for the RGB dragon coat from.

It's like seeing a web of light that is mouldable like glowing chainmail only with just me and him it wasn't light it was darker like it was made of black metal I could only see deep colours reflected like looking into an oily puddle.

It's hard to describe was very pretty though it was very mouldable.
It's different to where we map out loci points first and weave with awareness.
This moves organically.

I was chatting to Inka too but remotely.  He was reminding me of Basic bitch and rock bottom.  
We were pushing extremes of our 'in/out' & 'Off/On' 

Darth Dad had told me I was experiencing 'Architectural awareness' a kind of 'Source Coding' .  We could make reality changes here.

I'd scanned my body and mapped all the others out again to see where I could feel them... everythings flowing better.
More or less the same  as the other night but Kaylo was at back of my shoulders now right across and Leon was centre navel. 
Instead of feeling Leon & Darthdad on one soul each Darthdad was very clearly both souls.

I'd gone to find someone too.  
When I'd headed for this persons awareness in the past Inka had intercepted me from heading to his awareness....  this time I'd just made a loop so I could experiment.
The awareness I'd headed for was dismissive but I'm used to that and was happy to just observe from a distance.

It reminded me of when I'd taken Zak and jumped here... The others just ignored me till I started shaking worms and creatures from my hands 🤣

Other than that I was way above flying over coastlines.  It was more just something to do while I was thinking.  
I'd revisited the forced medication I'd gone willingly and they detained me...
Injected me with utter crap and took samples from me 🙄

At one point there I'd been dreaming of a friends daughter who both played the violin.  Arwen and that she had now moved over the North Sea...  (All them syncronisistys with what you guys told me)
Then storm Arwen utterly flattened the village where I grew up.    
I did try to warn them when they were trying to medicate me that I was storms daughter and I took my own medicine whether I want it or not!   Whether weather 😏
I'd not even known about the crazy 3 day storm till my Dad told me the village had been trashed.

I apologised to all the massive trees that had got ripped up.... It was another occasion I'd not really realised what we are capable of, they trees were ok about it. 
They don't like domesticated ones messing with wild ones either 🤣

The irony of getting sectioned while still learning storm Navigation
https://mousedream.blogspot.com/2021/11/storm-navigation.html

Haha I warned them if they kept going they might end up with a Wild Hunt, that I wasn't up for that but know plenty who are.... It's annoying when people just look at you like your mad 😛

Oh yeh the other thing I'd realised is state dependant memory...

That's effected by vibe rate and emotional state!  'Yes'  its why I can't recall sometimes too.

'Different layers mouse'
When I'm happy and content my recall now is vast. 
It's why I don't want medicated it's like not knowing who I am.

Sooo why are some people hooked on fear-porn???  🤔